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The all-time greatest FMLs

Getting wet, but not in the good way

By Boyufd - 28/06/2020 02:02

Today, it's been the fourth day in the row my pregnant girlfriend peed the bed. It's also the fourth day I have to clean it since she's too embarrassed to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 427

Strong incel vibes

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 02:01

Today, I showed up to my Bumble date with a guy. He looked at me up and down and said, "You look different from the pictures. I pictured you more slimmer." To rub salt in the wound, he proclaimed, "I’d rather staple my nutsack than continue this date. Good luck to you," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 302

Family secret

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 22:00

Today, after my grandad died suddenly last week, we were cleaning out his house and found a full on sex dungeon, with pictures of him and nana going back 50 years. My siblings are all chicken shits, so I have to deal with that room by myself. Rubber gloves and a therapist required please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 815

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 475

By powerless - 14/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, a soccer ball hit my car while I was going 75 mph on the freeway during my drive home. I still don't know how to explain it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 121

What are you doing?

By StopMe - 20/05/2019 12:00

Today, I went to a Hobby Lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 560

Ego boost

By FatBeachGirl - 21/03/2022 00:00

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 209

Great time to try for a kid

By Anonymous - 04/07/2020 14:01

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 365

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 196

And I oop

By not drunk - 21/07/2020 08:01

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 268

Trans women are women

By Colton - 07/06/2021 20:01

Today, I'm dating a trans girl, who is also my best friend. She confessed to me long ago that she was born male, and that wasn't a big deal to me. The problem is that my family is constantly harassing her, because I should have been "with a real girl instead of a monster with severed genitals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 511

Furry family

By crazy dog lady - 02/11/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 259

"If I could turn back time…"

By inappropes - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 1 017

Catching up

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 23:01

Today, I got a message from my crush, with whom I had a one night stand with a few months ago. I was really surprised and excited to see his name pop up on my phone. Turns out, he only messaged me to accuse me of giving him mono, and then he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 281

Nasty

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 115

Kitchen nightmares

By Accident-prone af - 07/07/2020 20:02

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 226

There goes the neighborhood

By Lorky - 08/05/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from the office of the apartment complex I moved into two months ago. Apparently, a woman a few apartments down from mine was murdered. Time to pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 152

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 04:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend, whom I live with, has been having an emotional affair with two other women, both ex-girlfriends. He's been sexting them during our one and a half year relationship, and even brought me up in their conversations, about how I'm not hotter than them and how they can suck his c**k better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 238