Freak out!

By Anonymous - 05/10/2019 00:01

Today, I woke up with a high fever. My two year-old decided today was the day she would have one of the largest tantrums she’s ever had and threw yogurt all over the newly-refinished floor, my fiancé, myself and our cat Sebastian. Sebastian was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 196

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 418

You deserved it 4 432

By Anonymous - 01/03/2017 20:00

Today, our 2-year-old poured honey on our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 926

You deserved it 400

By jaimpastaggle - 06/10/2016 14:24 - France

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 089

You deserved it 1 308

The Omen 4

By jensoulstealer - 16/03/2020 20:17

Today, my year and a half old daughter has discovered the joy of temper tantrums. She is now throwing them constantly. Everywhere. Anytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 775

You deserved it 1 665

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 927

You deserved it 251 882

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 266

You deserved it 4 006

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 2 767

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 02:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 863

You deserved it 4 162

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 6 490

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 October 2019 4:01

So, you and your fiancé were impressed?

bl3ur0z3 17

Saturday 5 October 2019 4:51

I'm not sure why not. Those yogurt containers are small. Getting it across that much space is an impressive feat that ONLY a 2yo can accomplish.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 October 2019 4:01

So, you and your fiancé were impressed?

bl3ur0z3 17

Saturday 5 October 2019 4:51

I'm not sure why not. Those yogurt containers are small. Getting it across that much space is an impressive feat that ONLY a 2yo can accomplish.

Mungolikecandy 19

Saturday 5 October 2019 8:13

On the bright side, you have a cat with an awesome name!

Major_Haywire 7

Saturday 5 October 2019 10:07

Just stand still long enough and the cat will clean it up

PirateSnozzle 8

Saturday 5 October 2019 13:38

I would have thought the cat would be thrilled. Leave it 5 minutes and he'll have the place spotless again. My cats usually don't even wait for food to be spilled before they "help".