Intimacy and Sex: From 100 to 0 real fast - FML

From 100 to 0 real fast

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Buckley

Spicy

Today, my fuckbuddy is hot as fuck; the kisses and touches are intense. We went to bed for the first time and I was expecting fireworks, since everything else so far has been like nothing I've ever experienced. He came before we even started. Twice. I have a fuckbuddy that I can't fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 424

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 17:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 038

You deserved it 54 348

It happens to the best of us

By unsatisfied - 01/02/2010 00:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 813

You deserved it 3 931

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 473

Alexa, play "Do You Remember The First Time?" by Pulp

By virginal-sucks - 19/05/2024 06:00 - Canada - Lethbridge

Spicy

Today, I had my first sexual encounter/kiss. I’m 37, which I know is a strange age for firsts. After blowing him for a bit, he started to f**k me, then went soft. He called it "whisky dick." Then he was on his phone. It took all of 30 minutes, then I was home again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 149

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 933

You deserved it 10 196

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 4 639

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 533

You deserved it 1 375

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 4 253

By cockfist - 04/03/2014 22:41 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Spicy

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 6 716

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Spicy

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 012

You deserved it 7 447

Next

Top comments

Silver_helmet 10

Saturday 26 June 2021 9:38

Give him some time to adjust. People are not machines.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 26 June 2021 14:20

Poor bastard is obviously nervous.

Comments

Silver_helmet 10

Saturday 26 June 2021 9:38

Give him some time to adjust. People are not machines.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 26 June 2021 14:20

Poor bastard is obviously nervous.

Nhayaa2.0 17

Sunday 27 June 2021 6:30

Next time, try less kissing and touching. It will keep him cooler.

Even Neeve 3

Thursday 15 July 2021 0:14

Sorry he’s a human being and not a sex machine?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 311

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 114

The Top

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 355

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 425

You deserved it 5 862

Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 180

You deserved it 3 220

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 818

You deserved it 4 672

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 712

You deserved it 3 618

Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 3 670