Health, Gross, Home improvement and Smells: Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying.... - FML

By HBCruiser - 14/07/2019 02:30

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 173

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Same thing different taste

Greasy

By jroberts - 25/01/2011 15:25

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 383

You deserved it 42 057

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 4 027

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 879

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 647

By Burny - 12/10/2017 16:00

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 299

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 234

You deserved it 2 825

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

Freaked out

By Piitaa_Pain - 01/01/2024 15:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I realized how bad my social anxiety has gotten. Where I live, there's a gallery/corridor, which is where the entrance is. It's also where the kitchen window is. I was preparing to cook dinner when my neighbors walked by. Even though my windows are opaque, I panicked and haven't been in the kitchen the past hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 277

Heartbreaking

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 04:00 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I learned that I'm highly allergic to onions. I love onions and they're in literally *everything*. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 146

Next

Top comments

weeping_willow 25

Sunday 14 July 2019 6:11

Bro.... take a shower

samomaha 17

Sunday 14 July 2019 3:42

You know, they say that smelling odors that are not there is one symptom of schizophrenia . . .

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 14 July 2019 3:24

Could be blocked drains, or some kind of chemicals causing it.

samomaha 17

Sunday 14 July 2019 3:42

You know, they say that smelling odors that are not there is one symptom of schizophrenia . . .

weeping_willow 25

Sunday 14 July 2019 6:11

Bro.... take a shower

AlienPickle 10

Sunday 14 July 2019 20:13

Yes 😆

AlienPickle 10

Sunday 14 July 2019 20:14

Time to exercise. Not you, the house.

lilpimpsmama 12

Sunday 14 July 2019 21:32

Sounds like a sinus infection. LOL

Nolimets 12

Monday 15 July 2019 0:08

Maybe that’s the problem , open a window or something ...lol

KittyMack 13

Monday 15 July 2019 15:19

If you're careless when you cook onions (ie no ventilation, no closing room &/or closet doors) the smell can soak into everything, couch, curtains, clothes in the closet, and then in hot, humid weather the stink kinda gets steamed back out. My screen porch was used by smokers til about 5y ago when we (nonsmoking) moved in & scoured it clean. But yesterday I was smelling cigs out there because we're in a beastly spell of humid heat.

im_teekay 7

Wednesday 17 July 2019 7:27

Could be a refrigerant leak from the fridge - we once had that and it smelt like garlic and onions

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 119

Today, I realized the only things I do are work and sleep. My only friends are coworkers who I make small talk with. I live alone so I’ve got nothing there either. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, or spoke to someone. Everyday is just a blur. I have no hobbies, no goals. Getting older is so fun, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 272

Today, I thought it would be interesting to flirt with a colleague from work via WhatsApp, I just forgot that my WhatsApp Web was open when I plugged the HDMI to the screen. The colleague is the director of the company, and 300 coworkers read the entire conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 024

Today, after noticing weight gain, I purchased an ab belt. Despite no gym for around a year now, I assumed I could easily sustain an advanced level workout and put the belt on maximum strength. The first shock catapulted me off my feet and smacked my head into the wall, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 328

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

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You deserved it 5 242

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 110

You deserved it 3 235