Today, I got told that I have a dainty sneeze. It was the closest...

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 16:00

Today, I got told that I have a dainty sneeze. It was the closest thing I've had to a compliment I've had in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 157

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Same thing different taste

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 630

You deserved it 9 665

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 101

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 385

You deserved it 1 895

By JulietMarie - 10/10/2014 19:12 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 085

You deserved it 3 537

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 236

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 307

You deserved it 4 806

By kissrocks4 - 11/04/2012 07:04 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 452

You deserved it 3 168

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 089

You deserved it 26 038

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 2 679

By Walter_Sobchak7 - 12/08/2017 01:30

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 577

You deserved it 343

RichardPencil 30

Monday 13 May 2019 17:00

Gesundheit! You should have also received a blessing, too.

alycion 38

Tuesday 14 May 2019 11:43

Some guys are into cute sneezes. I’m sure there is a dating site for that.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 13 May 2019 17:00

Gesundheit! You should have also received a blessing, too.

alycion 38

Tuesday 14 May 2019 11:43

Some guys are into cute sneezes. I’m sure there is a dating site for that.

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Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

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You deserved it 10 539

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I agree, your life sucks 27 987

You deserved it 8 592

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Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 157

Today, my daughter came home in actual tears because a guy from college “dared”, yes “dared” to turn her down. She then went on a rant about how he “claimed to have a girlfriend” and “clearly doesn’t know how popular she is.” Clearly, I’ve raised a Mean Girl with a future as a 3-time divorcee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 542

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 857

You deserved it 6 150

Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 329

You deserved it 4 194

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 203

You deserved it 1 077

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 365

You deserved it 6 893

Same thing different taste

Behave yourselves

Take it while you can

Gross!

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