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For anybody wondering, it was "Medieval 2 Total War" on very hard mode. I don't own a microphone, and don't play Call of Duty. Watching the Iberian peninsula falling to unstoppable Moorish hordes really tugs at the heartstrings though, y'know?

By Me - 20/12/2016 01:40 - United States - Canyon Lake

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 953

You deserved it 1 219

Way to be creepy

By Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 950

You deserved it 40 232

By Sad elf - 15/12/2016 13:42 - Australia - Brookfield

Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 950

You deserved it 679

By ManagerWithoutRespect - 05/12/2016 05:14 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 949

You deserved it 888

By Anonymous - 06/12/2016 20:14

Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 535

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 946

You deserved it 40 274

Woof

By rimjob - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 946

You deserved it 43 598

By anon - 09/11/2016 20:54 - United States - Laurel

Today, my boyfriend sent me an article about how smelling farts can reduce dementia then added, "You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 945

You deserved it 908

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 945

You deserved it 30 159

By nobodyreadsmyemails - 27/10/2009 22:24 - Canada

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 945

You deserved it 44 116

Revealed

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 940

You deserved it 83 482

By bronco_lover89 - 22/05/2012 01:05 - United States - Essexville

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 39 434

Merry Holidays!

By SadMom - 21/12/2016 15:56

Today, I was told by a family member that if we come over on Christmas and my small children get upset or throw a fit, we will be asked to leave. I can't guarantee that my 2-year-old and 3-year-old won't have any meltdowns, so I guess we won't be spending Christmas with the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 1 791

Static

By jewel87 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wore my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 36 570

By Dr_Gip - 18/10/2012 04:50 - United States

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 937

You deserved it 43 887

By p!$$3D0FF - 15/01/2009 02:02 - Australia

Today, I bought a pair of new speakers for my comp. I forgot I had installed various volume enhancing programs and also maxed out all sound settings. I connected the new speakers and played some music. The sound destroyed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 936

You deserved it 31 642

By indecentcameraexposure - 05/09/2009 21:14 - Canada

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 934

You deserved it 48 048

By ... - 05/02/2010 03:12 - France

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 933

You deserved it 70 326

By KillerChipmunk - 05/12/2016 08:19 - United States - Fair Oaks

Today, I finally found out why all three of my roommates were ignoring me. They like to disinfect everything every time they use it, and I don't. They had a problem with that, so they were hoping that by not talking to me, I'd "notice something was wrong and change." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 932

You deserved it 884

KillerChipmunk tells us more.

KillerChipmunk 15

Wednesday 7 December 2016 10:05

OP here! This actually happened a little over a month ago. I'm in student housing, so they got our RA to come and mediate a meeting. Things have gotten much better since then, but it still irks me that a 21, 23, and 24 year old picked up a 6 year old's tactics and thought it was a good idea to just ignore me for about three weeks. Ultimately, I'm not doing much different, just making a bigger show of it when I do clean. I never was gross about anything (imo), I just don't believe in the whole anti-bacterial thing, like wiping down the tv remote and couch weekly, or using Lysol on my bed every morning. To everyone telling me to find new roommates, my lease is up in May, and I'm already looking for new people to live with, but at least things have gotten better since all this happened.

By LaughingFML - 01/06/2016 21:33 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my best friend jokingly blocked my number until I apply for a job. She is also supposed to be picking me up from the airport, so now I have no way to contact her to tell her what time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 932

You deserved it 1 146