Love: Today, I planned on "breaking up" with my best friend by confessing...

By WHY - United States - Fairfax

Today, I planned on "breaking up" with my best friend by confessing my love for her, hoping she would feel different and move on. She reciprocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8951

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32812

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Love

Dangling modifier

Face value

Crushed

By efmylife - United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31854

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7136

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By Pissed.Off.Mom. - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14162

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By Anonymous - Netherlands - Drachten

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35653

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By ugly - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76384

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By Ben - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20228

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By pandabear93 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42490

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By IamTheSalt

Today, I got my grades back. They were all 98's and 99's with also a 104 (extra-credit). I got refused from entering an honors club, because it's "impossible to get above a hundred in a math class". I even got investigated for cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6019

You deserved it

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By LucyLollipop

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3760

You deserved it

767

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By DrunkParents - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29751

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2713

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By Taylor - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43090

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10635

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By Charity - United States

Slashing Prices Left and Right!

Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7034

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada - Surrey

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23808

You deserved it

2317

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By daughter in law - United States

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14543

You deserved it

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By PixieWrists - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29736

You deserved it

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By CarrieBerrie - 14/8/2020 17:01

Fire in the hole!

Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1246

You deserved it

488

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By Stressed Seamstress - United States - Charlotte

Today, my usual 15 minute return trip from the fabric store took almost an hour and a half due to traffic. Once I finally got home, I realized I misunderstood the pattern I'm using and only bought half the fabric I needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3257

You deserved it

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By Oops - United States - Augusta

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17696

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29967

You deserved it

5080

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By starbird - United States

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

I agree, your life sucks

79882

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34213

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By nowsingle - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51798

You deserved it

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By sonice - United States - Duluth

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27360

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By insurance lies - United States

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49440

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By Anonymous - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

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21508

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1783

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By Fluffy - United States

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29832

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25532

You deserved it

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By n77 - Switzerland

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38101

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5609

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648

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By Anonymous

Jinx

Today, I was reversing my brother's car out of a driveway. I turned to my friend in the passenger seat and said "check it out, I'm so good at reversing!" Next minute there's a huge bang. I had just reversed into a tree and shattered the windscreen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1237

You deserved it

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By shorty - United States

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40630

You deserved it

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By Whitley - United States

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31378

You deserved it

4054

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By Anonymous - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32811

You deserved it

6317

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By sorrynotsorry - United States - Vancouver

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43769

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Wakey Wakey!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1467

You deserved it

172

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 20:02 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Insurance fraud

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't have a license, backed up my car in a Taco Bell parking lot. Someone else was also backing up and smashed right into my car. If they ask to see the camera footage, they're going to see he was driving and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

453

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39398

You deserved it

6542

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By strangeprincess

RIP, Moggie

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1751

You deserved it

270

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30758

You deserved it

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24085

You deserved it

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By tayluh26 - United States

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26578

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Firetruck69 | 16

#6572056 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:48

That's kind of messed up. Why not just be honest?

By homesuckfucker | 28

#6572070 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:52

Yeah, that's pretty messed up. Congratulations, you've dug yourself into a deeper hole. Be honest and let her down easy, and don't be surprised if she lets everyone know how much of a douche you are.

COMMENTS

By Firetruck69 | 16

#6572056 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:48

That's kind of messed up. Why not just be honest?

MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6572381 - Friday 1 April 2016 23:00

I agree. Bitchy move on your party OP.

By thestoryofacaleb | 14

#6572064 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:50

You wanted it to happen, so I don't see why that's an FML. No offense, but F your friend's life for having a friend like you.

By eaglerob | 20

#6572065 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:51

Coward. Be a man and be honest. She deserves better; you don't.

macy1998 | 2

#6573032 - Sunday 3 April 2016 2:15

We don't necessarily know it's a male...

scyth3s | 13

#6574485 - Tuesday 5 April 2016 5:06

Be a *adult and be honest. FTFY

liinkinparkfan97 | 34

#6722521 - Wednesday 14 December 2016 6:32

#54 - Yes we do actually, assuming that little male symbol next to OP's username is correct.

By Giraafe | 15

#6572066 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:51

You tried

llamallover | 2

#6572075 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:54

I think it's pretty clear he wasn't honest, he was trying to end a friendship, not start a relationship.

fakedsincerity | 32

#6572435 - Saturday 2 April 2016 1:03

Yeah, tried to be a cowardly piece of shit and succeeded.

By MissRaindrop | 20

#6572068 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:52

You are an awful person

By youdontsay123456 | 21

#6572069 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:52

Way to go. Don't be expecting any sympathy on this website. What a horrible thing to do

By homesuckfucker | 28

#6572070 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:52

Yeah, that's pretty messed up. Congratulations, you've dug yourself into a deeper hole. Be honest and let her down easy, and don't be surprised if she lets everyone know how much of a douche you are.

By Shay_Shay97 | 23

#6572072 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

Talk about an awkward conversation. Yikes.

jtrg | 5

#6583773 - Tuesday 19 April 2016 20:43

reciprocate?

By michellellelle | 11

#6572074 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:54

You're a terrible friend, they're better off without you

By EastCoastLez | 14

#6572076 - Friday 1 April 2016 14:55

Excuses & lies will get you nowhere in life. Next time, be honest & have a mature conversation with her.