Merry Holidays!

By SadMom - 21/12/2016 15:56

Today, I was told by a family member that if we come over on Christmas and my small children get upset or throw a fit, we will be asked to leave. I can't guarantee that my 2-year-old and 3-year-old won't have any meltdowns, so I guess we won't be spending Christmas with the rest of the family. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 902
You deserved it 1 755

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Gosh, I wonder what happened last year? What do you think is more likely: the entire family is a bunch of jerks, or OP is one of "those" parents that lets their kids run wild. We all know there are plenty of people like that.

My house, my rules, and the rule is "no screaming kids". Maybe you have the gathering at your place next time so when your kids act up and you're asked by a guest to calm them down, you can tell the guest to put up with it or get out. Your house, your rules.


They must've been joking, no? Surely they can't be serious if they expect two very young children to behave like they're grown adults.

As an evil baby-hater myself, no, I highly doubt they expect children that young to behave themselves, but this was their less-than-eloquent way of telling OP "we love you, but we don't and won't love your offspring until they're less shrill and unpredictable." I've bluntly told my family that my cousin's toddler (and their new baby, when it comes around this spring, uggggh) are not welcome in my home because the noise and smells and unpredictability stress my cats and me out. Then again, I've been on the outs with that particular cousin ever since the toddler was a baby due to my public lack of enthusiasm, so I don't think they were planning to have the rugrats over for a visit anyway. I suppose there's no good way of telling devoted parents you simply can't stand anyone's children, including their own, but OP's relatives almost certainly could've found a better way to put it.

And what if "asked to leave" means taking them somewhere else until they calm down again? I don't even dislike kids(though I can understand why) but a tantrum could send me into an anxiety attack. What if it's then leaving vs a bunch of family members who don't want to/cant handle the kids throwing tantrums? Kids shouldn't be expected to act like adults, but that doesn't mean tantrum throwing won't affect people badly.

I've seen plenty of kids who can behave themselves for a few hours in an unusual environment. Chances are OP's relatives are fed up with what could be brats. But it's rarely a kid who's to blame, usually if the kid acts like an asshole, it's because the parent missed somewhere.

No offense, but you need to discipline your kids better. 1) Never give in to tantrums or whining. Whining or tantrums AUTOMATICALLY AND ALWAYS mean they do NOT get what they ask for. 2) If they are badly out of line, spank their butts! And/or take toys away! If they are very bad, do both! If you can't expect your kids to reasonably behave at a relatives house, then there is an issue. My sister has a kid who is 2, and he is well behaved and certainly able to behave at special events. He was great at family thanksgiving this year.

It's important to remember kids have different temperaments. We're four in my family, and 3/4 of us were pretty well behaved at age two, but one was not. Same parenting methods, but one kid was just more stubborn. And even if OP had the best behaved kids ever, it's really not uncommon for 2-year-olds to have occasional unpredictable tantrums. I could maybe understand if they were completely undisciplined, but telling OP that she'll be kicked out if there's even a single incident is harsh imo, especially coming from family.

their medals are in the mail. I inferred that you don't have children yourself. I guess you've somehow never heard how annoying it is to hear the arrogance of those without that condescendingly try to tell those with how they should be parenting.

Hahahahaha! I'm so damn glad that you came up with a solution no other parent has! Man, what would this world be like without your wisdom?! Based off your reply, I'm going to infer that you don't have any kids, and thus don't know what the hell the reality of having kids is like. So on behalf of all parents out there, allow me to put it to you bluntly: Shut the **** up. Other than that, have a nice day!

I see a loophole! They didn't say anything about YOU throwing a fit. A-ha!!!! When your kids get grumpy, you throw the mother of all tantrums to distract from your kids' fits. Merry Xmas!

On one hand, no one wants to sit through bad kids but let's be realistic; kids are unpredictable at the best of times. I'd stay home & lavish love on my kids. You don't deserve that ultimatum you were passive aggressively given. I'd also stop dealing with that family member because they obviously don't have common sense or common courtesy.

I agree. You never know when your child might get upset about something, and have a melt-down... it's all about how you handle the situation. Hope you have a nice Christmas despite the tension with the family!

polsen4273 8

Sounds like you have a reputation. They could be out of line, but Im leaning towards you are a bad parent and your family needs to set boundarys for your kids because you dont

You do realize the kids are toddlers, right? No amount of "good parenting" is gonna stop a toddler from flipping out.

Exactly, 12! My oldest niece was extremely well behaved as a toddler, but some things just really set her off. If she did something funny, heaven forbid you laugh because it would break her little heart. She could make messes with the best of them, but if she got so much as a hair on her, she would freak out. Her little sister is shaping up to be the same way, even though she's also very well behaved most of the time.

You sound like a really vile person. And while you are at it why don't you beat those kids into submission to show who's boss.

Narcisse_fml 25

I was thinking along the same lines. Not so much that she's a bad parent, but she may feel that everything they do is okay because of their age and they're her kids. She's probably known for making no attempts to correct unacceptable behaviors.

You clearly have no clue what toddlers are like. You can tell them not to do something all you want; the chances of them listening are minimal, in most cases. Please never have children, if you really expect them to be perfectly-behaved at that age.

polsen4273 8

Also, if you kids do behave badly, and are then asked to leave wont that teach them something? No reason for you not to go.

If it was a very formal/expensive get-together like a wedding ceremony, I could understand a "no crying babies" policy, and just asking that the kids be left at home with a sitter. But it's CHRISTMAS for crying out loud. The holidays are for family, and family can be messy. Hell, some adults are just as likely to throw a tantrum after too much eggnog. This "family member" needs to pry the yule log out of their ass.

You can always tell which posters aren't parents and haven't been around kids much, usually it's the "OMGZ DISCIPLINE YER KIIDDDZZ!!" also, I'd be all "Oh, we weren't going to your christmas gathering. We have more important ones to go to" ..but I'm petty.

Sorry but I agree with the family. Why should their holiday always be ruined because you can not handle your children. When my nephew was 2 and 3, he is 5 right now, if he had a tantrum, we left said event to spare the other guests. It is the respectful thing to do. Though he did not have many when he was that young but is having more now that he is older. And we will remove ourselves from the event to allow the rest of the guests to enjoy themselves. Why would want to ruin their holiday as well? Just wait a few years when you can control their behaviors better and enjoy the holidays with family.

CliffyB03 28

I agree with you. Which is apparently looked down upon. A lot of people with small children leave the vicinity whenever the kids start acting up. It's just common curtesy to leave the room or place as to not interfere with whatever everyone's enjoying.

I agree my sister has 2 kids a 3 and 5 yr old and yes throw little fits but you bet your ass my sister takes their presents away and sends them to bed immediately. Christmas is always at her house. They're getting better but I will say I don't mind too much maybe cause I know the tantrums are usually from being hungry or tired and not cause they're brats. But if you're at someone's home and your kids throws a fit remove that kid till they calm down.

That's fair. Not everyone wants to be around snot-nosed kids. I know I don't. Just because you decided on your own free will to have kids, doesn't mean everyone else has to be inconvenienced.

thats a bitchy thing to say. shame on you.

No it's not. Those of us who decided not to have kids did it for a reason. Why should we be punished with headaches cause your kid decides to scream incessantly and you won't do anything about it?