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Hey! Let me start off by saying I'm a 5 foot tall girl and I'm not exactly frightening. Therefore it's not like me getting out of the car would have helped. And to those who said I should have drove off, I was in the passenger seat waiting on my mom so I couldn't exactly do that. And it happened so quickly too. I didn't recognize the guy and by the time I knew what had happened it was too late. Just another idiot trying to make trouble.

STOP SMILING

By i guess - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Hamilton

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

agreeclassic 43 195

vote type 1 3 668

By shylahrc - 03/05/2014 23:51 - United States

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

agreeclassic 43 193

vote type 1 3 538

By UltraHoe69 - 06/01/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

agreeclassic 43 193

vote type 1 4 407

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

agreeclassic 43 188

vote type 1 3 819

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

agreeclassic 43 187

vote type 1 3 661

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 22:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

agreeclassic 43 183

vote type 1 3 942

By Brian - 23/12/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

agreeclassic 43 182

vote type 1 2 473

Tetchy

By ouch.... - 22/10/2013 01:24 - United States - Duxbury

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

agreeclassic 43 181

vote type 1 3 574

By Slow_Walker - 15/11/2014 22:59 - Georgia - Tbilisi

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

agreeclassic 43 178

vote type 1 6 903

Slow_Walker app_comment_confession_title

Slow_Walker 7

Monday 17 November 2014 19:59

Yeah for me too... my reaction was taking the biggest kitchen knife, locking the door and looking for that bastard... for the moment i thought i was capable of killing someone... it scares me.. didn't know i was capable of even thinking like this :0

By DD: - 19/02/2015 20:45 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

agreeclassic 43 177

vote type 1 3 960