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The all-time greatest FMLs

MY CHEESE!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 89

By sadgirlhours - 27/08/2019 02:01 - United States - Gulfport

Today, I tried plugging in my Gatorade bottle with a charging cable instead of my phone. I couldn't tell if the reason was because I was high, or I'm just really that fucking stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 1 877

Don't go

By Kyle - 18/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Universal City

Today, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The catch? I'm on my step-dad's insurance and without it, I will no longer be able to receive my absolutely crucial mental health medication, on which, no exaggeration, my life depends upon. I'm cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 119

By Deathrace - 17/05/2011 13:08 - India

Today, I was on an adult-orientated website when my mother entered the room. I closed the webpage as fast as I could by clicking everywhere. I discovered later that, while panicking, I clicked on “share on Facebook”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 415

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 114

Revelation

By Andrea Marie McNeil - 26/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out during my eleventh year anniversary with my husband that he was cheating on me with his recently deceased friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 81

Kwinoah?

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 02:30 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 273

Patience

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 15:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 106

Brave

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 03:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I found out that my ex slept with someone during a work trip and came back to break up with me. He spent the whole breakup making me think that the problem in the relationship was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 84

Small world

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 12:00

Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 106

Red tape

By Unemployed - 22/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, Social Security is docking my benefits because I have a job. That's normal… Except I haven't had a job since November 2023. After my old boss left, she was replaced by an ableist prick who fired me as soon as he realized that I'm disabled. No matter what I do, they refuse to believe me. Help? FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 126

The call of the wild

By not outdoorsy - 10/07/2020 14:02

Today, I haven’t been camping since I was a kid. I decided to give it another shot. I bought all the best equipment, researched all the great locations, planned a whole weekend. Turns out I still fucking hate camping and now I’m out over $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 2 239

Don't call me Karen

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was so tired that I thought the item I'd ordered a few months ago had been delivered then stolen, so I emailed the company about it. When I checked back on the website, I realized it hadn't actually been delivered yet and I read the invoice wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 514

By dane - 29/06/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 42

Triggered

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 121

C/A unt

By Anonymous - 04/01/2023 03:00

Today, I had to listen to my ridiculously judgmental aunt bitching about how America “let a criminal back onto the streets” because Brittney Griner (or “that bitch”, as she called her) “couldn’t be a decent person”. I can’t believe I share DNA with this cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 1 128

This is America

By Anthony - 30/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Manorville

Today, I’m so broken and poor that I look forward towards my one free meal in my shelter just so I can have a conversation with people and act like I’m happy, and see another smile. I wish I could have more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 101

No wings

By David - 15/08/2020 17:07

Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 2 835

Social situations make me nervous

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 12:00

Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 260

I am a man

By FREEDOM - 09/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I left my wife of 25 years. For every one of those years, I was treated like a stupid child or a worthless burden. When I finally got fed up, everyone said I was the bad guy. I just want to be treated like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 172

By TheBiker - 01/03/2008 05:54

Today, the weather was nice, so I went for a ride on my motorbike. I sneezed inside my helmet. Full-face helmet, might I add. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 86

Accounting

By SOME QUESTIONS DON'T NEED ANSWERS - 29/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 129

Out of the blue

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, on my last day of vacation with my family, and after moving my kid back home after their college graduation, I received a text message from my supervisor that said, “Hello, your services are no longer needed" and that they would pack up my desk and mail it to me. I can’t get anyone to explain why or even answer me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 98

Run!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 14:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, we had a family day at my new job. I used to have a very abusive boss in my previous position, who even slapped one co-worker across the face in the office, prompting me to quit. Guess who turns out to be my new manager's wife… FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 89

Mortified

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 200

Flimsy excuse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2025 22:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my fiancee broke up with me, all because I told her I couldn't install a home security system, fix a camera, and entertain her son in the hour before I went to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 85

Failed

By Secret - 24/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Davison

Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 120

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 2 798

Nosy nitwit

By Paladin Rayjack - 16/10/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 86

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The Top

Today, I managed to stop my supervisor from falling into a trench, only for the ground to give way and for me to fall in instead. My supervisor didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 861

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 3 135

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 809

You deserved it 5 657

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 605

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 205

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 380