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The all-time greatest FMLs

Dramatic Entrance Fail

By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28

It's not easy being cheesy...

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 210

What?

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 17:59

Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 238

Hope

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 00:00

Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 139

Long list of grievances

By ADayAtATime - 10/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 145

No wings

By David - 15/08/2020 17:07

Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 2 827

Thanks, Keir

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter informing me that my husband is considered fit to work and will be receiving reduced benefits. He was rushed to hospital yesterday and has a tube in his throat temporarily breathing for him. I’m sure a nice desk job will suit him just fine then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 98

Sleepy Joe

By Justin - 22/02/2023 10:00

Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 148

Neat freak

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 21:00

Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 98

The FML Showdown!

By Louis - 12/04/2017 21:30 - France - Paris

If you're on vacation, you'll be wondering if your diving skills are up to scratch. Check out the competition in this video.

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 137

It's the new fad

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to find "GO HOME N***AS" written on my house. After filing a police report, crying with fear, and looking into the fastest way to sell my house, my 14 year-old daughter let it slip that she wrote it to "get popular." FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 178

Pawpaw got game

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 214

Great way to start the day

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 15:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, once again, after dating someone for a month thinking things were going well, I woke up to a text message saying, “You’re really pretty and a great person but I’m not feeling a relationship vibe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 129

By gege31 - 08/11/2010 11:48 - Ireland

Today, during a school trip to Ireland, I tried taking a souvenir picture of a sheep wearing my sunglasses. So, if you ever see a sheep running past with sunglasses on, they're mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 520

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 2 777

Give me a ring

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 03:00

Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 129

Keeper

By Janice - 27/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 156

Dropped out

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, I lost one of my best friends because he has an insecure girlfriend. He just stopped contact completely out of the blue. Two other close friends died in the last few weeks as well, and I'm so heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 96

By Louna - 04/03/2008 23:08

Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy to have friends, I listened with a smile. All of them were from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 76

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 154

C/A unt

By Anonymous - 04/01/2023 03:00

Today, I had to listen to my ridiculously judgmental aunt bitching about how America “let a criminal back onto the streets” because Brittney Griner (or “that bitch”, as she called her) “couldn’t be a decent person”. I can’t believe I share DNA with this cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 124

What could've been…

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 190

Messy

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had orientation at T.J. Maxx when I got my period and it was heavier than normal. I bled all over my pants and got so much of it on the chair, I couldn’t hide it. The lady doing my orientation had to get a whole different chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 82

This ain't gonna end well

By PureFallPain - 23/11/2019 20:00

Today, I'm catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I used to vent with, and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM saying he liked my pic. He wanted to talk on the phone, and we have fallen for each other. He thinks I'm 18. I'm a 39 year-old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 5 718

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 121

Red tape

By Unemployed - 22/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, Social Security is docking my benefits because I have a job. That's normal… Except I haven't had a job since November 2023. After my old boss left, she was replaced by an ableist prick who fired me as soon as he realized that I'm disabled. No matter what I do, they refuse to believe me. Help? FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 123

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 116

This is America

By Anthony - 30/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Manorville

Today, I’m so broken and poor that I look forward towards my one free meal in my shelter just so I can have a conversation with people and act like I’m happy, and see another smile. I wish I could have more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 101

Caturday surprise

By Help - 01/04/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 1 914

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 681

Today, it was a VERY windy day. A tree blew over and landed on my car, obliterating the windows, and totalling it. I only bought it yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 78

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 183

Today, after three years of letting everyone work remotely and do our thing, my company suddenly demanded everyone return to the office. Now I get sit in traffic for two hours every day just to join Zoom calls from a cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 113

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 137

You deserved it 4 462

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 6 549