By FML Approved

Puppy Cheats at Golf

You can't stay mad at that face for too long!

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Coherence dude, do you have it?

Caught red-handed

Relationships sink

By wordmalfunction - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23076

You deserved it

44684

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50199

You deserved it

12795

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By mushroommouth - United States

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32688

You deserved it

22640

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By meatballz - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17319

You deserved it

43191

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By smooth - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30506

You deserved it

18410

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By Okay - United States

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39672

You deserved it

6097

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By Sarah

Today, my therapist said, "Y'know, Sarah, you would be a lot happier if you laid off the cocaine." I don't do cocaine. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3564

You deserved it

225

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By SeeMeInTheDark - United States

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31960

You deserved it

3340

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By shark - United States - Houston

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12613

You deserved it

31735

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By elmalo68 - United States

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43173

You deserved it

3148

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42118

You deserved it

7477

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By asleepinclass - Poland

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

139657

You deserved it

40051

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By manymisfortunes - Canada - Lachine

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40904

You deserved it

12365

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By Hannah - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25086

You deserved it

10843

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By Snoodist

Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1957

You deserved it

138

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By Anonymous - Brazil

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11988

You deserved it

27884

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33698

You deserved it

7545

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By L_M_AND_R_L - United States

Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14888

You deserved it

1165

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By snazz23 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I excitedly called my mom to tell her the great news, thinking she'd be excited too. Her only response? "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11985

You deserved it

1100

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54618

You deserved it

15843

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By Anonymous - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

59971

You deserved it

13922

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By patty - France

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37117

You deserved it

3436

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By smalls727

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat urine and moving further away from the other person. Only to get in my car and realize my cat peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9582

You deserved it

2337

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By Roll Tide of Tears - United States

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24737

You deserved it

5644

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By axwound - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15471

You deserved it

29125

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By Chrissy - United States

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31114

You deserved it

3014

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By halza - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14330

You deserved it

958

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By brokenarm - Germany

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25868

You deserved it

7880

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By longday - Canada

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24462

You deserved it

6732

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By ziatenaj - United States

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30130

You deserved it

2949

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By Anonymous - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29644

You deserved it

1734

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By "Tick"

Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2063

You deserved it

126

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Impressive hairstyle

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1941

You deserved it

251

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By Gary - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34553

You deserved it

10346

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By Isitreallythatbad, - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41422

You deserved it

3630

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By what - United States - Livermore

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29872

You deserved it

2096

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By brittbrat4 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21254

You deserved it

36531

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46427

You deserved it

5416

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By BigmouthStrikesAgain - United Kingdom

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31950

You deserved it

8240

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By fmeplease - United Kingdom

Time to pretend

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76090

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7535791 - Thursday 31 August 2017 3:44

I remember seeing this on Reddit not to long ago. But look how happy the puppy is!

By EnvyMe33 | 26

#7535843 - Thursday 31 August 2017 8:11

How is this an FML? Cute nonetheless

COMMENTS

By Donut_Wizard | 23

#7535791 - Thursday 31 August 2017 3:44

I remember seeing this on Reddit not to long ago. But look how happy the puppy is!

By EnvyMe33 | 26

#7535843 - Thursday 31 August 2017 8:11

How is this an FML? Cute nonetheless

By skyy417 | 17

#7536889 - Sunday 3 September 2017 0:51

Adorable dog!!!