By FML Approved Puppy Cheats at Golf You can't stay mad at that face for too long! 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wordmalfunction - United Kingdom Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML I agree, your life sucks 23076 You deserved it 44684 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML I agree, your life sucks 50199 You deserved it 12795 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mushroommouth - United States Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 32688 You deserved it 22640 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meatballz - United States Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML I agree, your life sucks 17319 You deserved it 43191 214 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smooth - United States Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML I agree, your life sucks 30506 You deserved it 18410 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Okay - United States Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39672 You deserved it 6097 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah Today, my therapist said, "Y'know, Sarah, you would be a lot happier if you laid off the cocaine." I don't do cocaine. I never have. FML I agree, your life sucks 3564 You deserved it 225 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeeMeInTheDark - United States Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML I agree, your life sucks 31960 You deserved it 3340 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shark - United States - Houston Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML I agree, your life sucks 12613 You deserved it 31735 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By elmalo68 - United States Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML I agree, your life sucks 43173 You deserved it 3148 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 42118 You deserved it 7477 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asleepinclass - Poland Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 139657 You deserved it 40051 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By manymisfortunes - Canada - Lachine Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML I agree, your life sucks 40904 You deserved it 12365 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hannah - Ireland - Wexford Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML I agree, your life sucks 25086 You deserved it 10843 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Snoodist Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 1957 You deserved it 138 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Brazil Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 11988 You deserved it 27884 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML I agree, your life sucks 33698 You deserved it 7545 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By L_M_AND_R_L - United States Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 14888 You deserved it 1165 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By snazz23 - United States - Bastrop Today, I got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I excitedly called my mom to tell her the great news, thinking she'd be excited too. Her only response? "Oh." FML I agree, your life sucks 11985 You deserved it 1100 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML I agree, your life sucks 54618 You deserved it 15843 338 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Mississauga Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML I agree, your life sucks 59971 You deserved it 13922 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By patty - France Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML I agree, your life sucks 37117 You deserved it 3436 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smalls727 Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat urine and moving further away from the other person. Only to get in my car and realize my cat peed in my purse. FML I agree, your life sucks 9582 You deserved it 2337 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roll Tide of Tears - United States Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML I agree, your life sucks 24737 You deserved it 5644 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By axwound - United States Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 15471 You deserved it 29125 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chrissy - United States Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 31114 You deserved it 3014 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By halza - New Zealand - Christchurch Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 14330 You deserved it 958 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokenarm - Germany Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 25868 You deserved it 7880 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By longday - Canada Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 24462 You deserved it 6732 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ziatenaj - United States Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML I agree, your life sucks 30130 You deserved it 2949 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hayward Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML I agree, your life sucks 29644 You deserved it 1734 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Tick" Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML I agree, your life sucks 2063 You deserved it 126 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Impressive hairstyle Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML I agree, your life sucks 1941 You deserved it 251 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gary - Canada Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML I agree, your life sucks 34553 You deserved it 10346 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Isitreallythatbad, - United States Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML I agree, your life sucks 41422 You deserved it 3630 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what - United States - Livermore Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML I agree, your life sucks 29872 You deserved it 2096 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brittbrat4 - United States Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML I agree, your life sucks 21254 You deserved it 36531 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 46427 You deserved it 5416 271 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BigmouthStrikesAgain - United Kingdom Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML I agree, your life sucks 31950 You deserved it 8240 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmeplease - United Kingdom Time to pretend Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML I agree, your life sucks 76090 You deserved it 12693 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7535791 - Thursday 31 August 2017 3:44 I remember seeing this on Reddit not to long ago. But look how happy the puppy is! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
By EnvyMe33 | 26 #7535843 - Thursday 31 August 2017 8:11 How is this an FML? Cute nonetheless Send a private message 3 3 Reply
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7535791 - Thursday 31 August 2017 3:44 I remember seeing this on Reddit not to long ago. But look how happy the puppy is! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
By EnvyMe33 | 26 #7535843 - Thursday 31 August 2017 8:11 How is this an FML? Cute nonetheless Send a private message 3 3 Reply
By skyy417 | 17 #7536889 - Sunday 3 September 2017 0:51 Adorable dog!!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 557 You deserved it 115 3 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 818 You deserved it 173 8 Comments