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The all-time greatest FMLs

You must be joking

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 22:00

Today, my friend is mad at me because I refused to be a bridesmaid since she’s getting married at a plantation. I asked if she’d get married at Auschwitz or somewhere else of great suffering. She called me a drama queen and blocked me. Sorry that I, a black woman, don’t wanna go to a plantation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 430

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my lawnmower found the dart that my kids lost from my dartboard set last week. It found it as my husband was mowing the grass and flung it at about 60 miles an hour point first into my kneecap. It won’t come out, so I’m sat in an overcrowded ER on a Friday night with a 3 hour wait time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 111

Private equity firms are evil

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 22:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I received yet another increase in my rent. When I moved into my crappy one bedroom apartment in Ohio on Feb 1st 2020 my rent was $525 a month. Now 4 years later its $1050. A 100% increase in 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 133

Keeper

By Janice - 27/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 158

Tactful

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my friend introduced me to her roommate by spouting the usual crap, like, “You guys just had to meet, you have so much in common.” After 20 minutes of very painful, awkward conversation, it was clear the only thing we had in common was being the only two black people in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 110

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my health insurance refuses to pay for either contraceptives or the small surgery to get my tubes tied, even with a doctor’s note confirming I need it. They are quite happy, however, to pay for any number of abortions, subsequent therapy, and/or complications during childbirth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 99

Once you notice it, it's deafening

By Mysterious tapping noise - 05/09/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I keep hearing a tapping noise in my bedroom every few seconds. I don't know where it's coming from, but I do know it's driving me crazy, and it's impossible for me to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 73

Old flame

By Anonymous - 08/03/2026 09:00

Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 192

The noise of God

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 20:00

Today, my neighbour shouted at me for starting my car early in the morning because "a decent, God-fearing man" has no business going places in the dark "when Satan is about his wicked business." I’m a priest and I have a funeral to prepare for this morning. That's about as un-Satan like as you can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 74

Red Forman's spirit lives on

By amber s - 18/10/2022 22:00

Today, my idiot son tried to load the dishwasher while the dishes inside were clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 403

Meritocracy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2024 15:00 - Jamaica

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 140

Fighting fit

By Michael - 25/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, after training for 3 months for a marathon, three weeks from race day I tripped and fell during my last long run and cracked a rib, so I took ten painful days off. I decided to go try a short run to see if maybe I could still try the race, and got attacked by a German Shepard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 127

Clueless

By Anonymous - 11/06/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my dad got frustrated at me last month for not having a job and completely taking over my job searching, claiming it’s not that hard and he’d show me how it’s done. Since then, not one company has called or emailed him back and he doesn’t know why. Welcome to job searching in 2024, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 100

Bougie

By Eric - 05/03/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend showed me a Louis Vuitton bag and asked if I could buy it for her. I told her I don’t have that kind of money. She said, “That wasn’t my question; my question was, could you buy it?” I said, “No.” She then said, “Broke and lacks listening skills. I’m better off.” Four years down the drain over a purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 106

Great way to start the day

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 22:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, once again, after dating someone for a month thinking things were going well, I woke up to a text message saying, “You’re really pretty and a great person but I’m not feeling a relationship vibe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 131

Nice guy DESTROYED by FACTS and LOGIC

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 10:02 - United States - Akron

Today, after a year and a half, I finally cut things off with my ex completely because I was starting to have feelings for someone else. Right after I cut my ex off, the other girl that I liked cut things off with me, and threw my ass in the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 1 948

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I would not open my family's home to my sister and her family because their home burned down. My sister and her husband have twelve kids and they have the same crazy fundamentalist beliefs as the Duggar family. But my parents say, "THEY'RE FAMILY!!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 89

Incompetence

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend a quite considerable chunk of my Saturday on the phone to my boss explaining that no, it is not reasonable or convenient for him to try and cancel my honeymoon leave, all because he messed up the schedules, and doesn’t want to upset the other girl in the office he fancies like mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 70

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are sending me to boot camp. All because I drove my sister to her abortion when they wouldn't. Not even she can stop them from doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 149

This week's illustrated FML

By soooglam - 12/11/2015 02:35 - France

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 63

Life is life

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 00:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent all day watching sad cat adoption/rescue videos on Instagram and now I'm bummed out thinking about how mine are going to die within my lifetime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 586

Long list of grievances

By ADayAtATime - 10/03/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 146

And they call it puppy love…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 06:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 341

Nope, just nope

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 78

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 1 533

Great ad for Waffle House

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 00:02

Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 208

By kathus - 01/10/2012 03:17 - Madagascar - Nosy-be

Today, I discovered the art of Malagasy compliments. My taxi driver made an unexpected stop in a small village. When I asked the reason for this, he responded, “We’re waiting for my wife, she’s fat just like you. I love fat women.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 66

Bitlife?

By Joshua - 15/01/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I was called to my principal's office over one of my Google searches. What was a the horrid thing I'd searched you may ask? “Can you kill someone with an atomic wedgie?” I was talking about a game named ”Bitlife”. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 369

Mo money, mo problems

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt things were getting serious enough with my boyfriend that it was only fair to tell him I have a lot of credit card debt from helping out my ill mom before she died. He broke up with me and called me a gold digger, even though I didn’t ask him for a single penny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 108

Wrecked

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad is mad at me because I refused to buy a truck. An ugly old Isuzu with two flat tires and a missing headlight, and the owner said it needed a new transmission & brakes, but still wanted $8000. Apparently, without consulting me, Dad promised him I'd buy it as payment for guns he bought. Now he's in debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 84

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The Top

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 717

You deserved it 9 549

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 951

You deserved it 6 640

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 8 566

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 864

You deserved it 4 179

Today, my wife is leaving me because I don’t satisfy her sexually. Chance would be a fine thing, every time I get romantic, all I get is, "I have a headache", "I think my period's coming", “Is sex all you think about?”, “What if the neighbours hear us?”, and my all time favourite, “Ew, not a chance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 320

Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 81