Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
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