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The all-time greatest FMLs

What could've been…

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 192

Crushed

By Need lipo money - 01/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the guy I have a crush on told me that "if only he could find a girl with my personality." I asked him what I was missing to be his girl, since I apparently have the personality he wants. He told me, “Sorry to hurt your feelings, but perhaps a liposuction and a nose job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 178

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 07:30

Today, I went for a job interview. I'd resigned at my current job and applied for somewhere closer to home. They hired me on the spot, and as I was leaving, I saw my abusive ex-boyfriend working in the store. So… now I'm working alongside my ex who abused me for two years. Time to apply elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 106

Mismanaged

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager issued our next month's schedule, where I’m only working 12 hours a week, which is bollocks. He tried to claim he did it so I could spend more time with my baby. What baby? I have no baby. The prick can’t even remember who I am. Give me hours and pay me money, you wanker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 112

By vivelesvacances - 21/03/2012 11:07 - Niger

Today, I came back from my long-awaited vacation in a southern country. No tanning marks to show for it, but I do have 176 mosquito bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 86

Goodbye horses

By Anonymous - 23/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband announced he bought a horse for our daughter. A freaking horse. Does he not realise how expensive it is to keep a horse? Stable fees alone are almost £700 monthly, then there’s vet bills, equipment, it’s endless. We are not wealthy, this will ruin us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 87

Legacy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 164

Dramatic Entrance Fail

By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28

It's not easy being cheesy...

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 210

Justifiable anger

By Well shit - 27/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I completed a jigsaw puzzle. Almost. You see, there's a problem: One of the pieces is an exact duplicate of another, and the actual missing piece is… gone. So there's one empty space and one piece that doesn't fit. Words cannot describe how irrationally angry this makes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 148

Wildlife

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 85

By Louna - 04/03/2008 23:08

Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy to have friends, I listened with a smile. All of them were from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 77

Tempted?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 00:02

Today, I found out that my prude wife, who has given up on anything remotely sexually exciting, has been researching swinger clubs. I found out when she “accidentally” texted me a Vice article on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 164

Sleepy Joe

By Justin - 22/02/2023 10:00

Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 150

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 10:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 1 322

Deadbeat

By Nola - 18/04/2023 15:00

Today, I found out that when you and your boyfriend are having sex and you say, “I wanna have your baby” and he says, “Yes baby” and ejaculates inside you, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna stay. He said in his defense, “You said you wanted to have my baby, I never said I agreed to be a father.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 2 005

Dodged a bullet

By Newly single - 07/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 386

Overreacting a tad

By I want out - 11/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents grounded me and told me I can forget about going to prom, Grad Bash, and getting a new car for graduation. My mom was cleaning my room and found a pack of condoms in my dresser drawer. Oh, and they made me call my boyfriend they didn’t know about to tell him it was over, on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 351

It's not just stuff

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my almost-mother-in-law demanded I give my engagement ring back because it was originally her great-grandmother's, and she has now decided she wants it to go to her youngest son’s fiancée instead. My fiancé agreed and told me he’d just buy me another. He doesn’t get why I’m so upset either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 103

Link please

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 03:00

Today, my wife sold her first painting and was so proud of herself, until she found the buyer online and realized his YouTube page is full of videos where he paints over horrible art and turns it into good art. Her painting was on it, and yes, he visibly improved it and yes, my wife is raging at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 75

Happy birthday

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 307

The FML Showdown!

By Louis - 12/04/2017 21:30 - France - Paris

If you're on vacation, you'll be wondering if your diving skills are up to scratch. Check out the competition in this video.

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 137

Babe, I have something to share…

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 163

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 118

Injury to injury

By Anonymous - 01/11/2023 18:00

Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 97

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 116

Wonky logic

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 93

Some friend you are

By Used - 02/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 213

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 113

Good comeback

By Juice Ko Day! - 27/12/2025 03:00

Today, three minutes into on our Christmas Family Reunion, I got kicked out and now probably permanently. What did I do? My aunt, who NEVER FAILS to do this, did loudly the, "Wow! You've gotten fat!" greeting on me, whereas I responded with an even louder, "And WOW! You've gotten even uglier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 112

Pick on someone your own size

By FluffythePink - 07/10/2023 12:30

Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 169

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The Top

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 081

You deserved it 3 273

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 154

You deserved it 41 918

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 402

Today, my bank sent me a message, saying that they'd disabled my account. To reactivate it, I need the account number, and I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 261

Today, I’ve been bricking it about telling my mom I’m pregnant but aren’t getting married to my boyfriend. My mom has a big thing about marriage. Then grandma told me mom’s just a hypocrite, because she got pregnant not only wasn’t she married, they had to do a DNA test to see who was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 195

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 122