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Update: after creating a business account only to be able to order the damn chairs and ordering again, the system somehow took my personal credit card to complete the transaction, then cancelled it just because. I still cannot order the chairs. Will try again on Monday.

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 203

Cat Mojo

By Me. - 11/05/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 148

Squeak scene

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I wore new shoes to work. Little did I expect, once in contact with the linoleum floor in the building, my shoes started making a squeak at every step. I sounded like a toy rubber duck every time I walked down the hallway. The whole workplace has the same lino everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 114

Single and ready to Pringle

By Snanonymous - 04/06/2022 00:00

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 461

Butter fingers

By ImNotVeryBright - 10/03/2022 02:01

Today, I was on my phone while it was charging. My hands fumbled a bit, and my phone slipped out of my fingers. Thinking quickly, I grabbed it by the charging cable to save it. The cable unplugged, and my phone now has a pretty crack on the screen from hitting the tile floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 371

Hush!

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I went to my local library to study. As I settled in, I dropped my water bottle, causing a mini flood. Panicked, I tried to clean it up with paper towels, only to knock over a stack of books, creating a domino effect of chaos. The librarian gave me the dirtiest look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 329

Join the club

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Uvalde

Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 239

"Destroy me completely, then throw me away"

By calcstudent101 - 25/02/2021 11:03 - United States

Today, I was just beginning a calculus exam when my brain thought it was a good time to get stuck on the song "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now that the exam is over, I'm afraid that I can foresee the future through song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 170

Miss me yet?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 08:01

Today, after I kicked my boyfriend out, thinking the sudden separation would make him value our relationship more, I heard he's spent the last 3 weeks at his brother's constantly playing Xbox, hasn’t called me once, and now I’m hearing rumours he’s been taking other women home from sleazy bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 3 014

Stinky

By mechgineer - 14/09/2023 18:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today is the first day that my natural, clean scent makes her nauseous. We don’t have somewhere else I can sleep and we both work from home. Twenty more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 146

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 244

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 12:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized this virus pandemic lockdown had no effect on my love life as I spent another free night cutting 1/4 inch thick calluses off my feet, as I have done before all this happened two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 179

By Anonyme - 22/10/2014 05:31 - Colombia - Bogot

Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he was whispering, he said, “So they can’t hear me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 75

Woodstove Explosion Fail

By FML Approved - 04/11/2017 03:00 - United States - Liberty

Well that experiment was a bust.

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 333

By Camou - 22/08/2013 00:01 - Puebla

Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes. He replied, “Oh you know, I’ve seen worse, I’ve been watching Dexter.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 78

Shite day

By Anonymous - 26/06/2023 10:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 157

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 22:00

Today, I hooked up with a girl who had a total Nicki Minaj butt. She wanted me to do her doggy style, and the spirit was willing but the flesh wasn’t long enough to reach more than an inch inside, no matter how much we readjusted. We ended up switching to missionary, but neither of us were happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 198

Cost of living crisis

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 06:00

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 155

Go long

By Ungrateful - 04/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 136

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The Top

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 490

You deserved it 32 219

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 753

You deserved it 7 933

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 3 849

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 190

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 294

Today, my fiancé and I were having dinner with my parents. My mom asked when we were thinking of having kids. My fiancé cheerfully said, “When pigs fly and Hell freezes over!” He’s right, but I was hoping to break the news a little more gently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 218