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The all-time greatest FMLs

Miss me yet?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 08:01

Today, after I kicked my boyfriend out, thinking the sudden separation would make him value our relationship more, I heard he's spent the last 3 weeks at his brother's constantly playing Xbox, hasn’t called me once, and now I’m hearing rumours he’s been taking other women home from sleazy bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 2 997

Come again?

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 22:00

Today, I was having a conversation with my husband when our daughter walked in and shouted at us, “For god's sake, will you two either stop shouting or buy some fucking hearing aids.” That’s when we realised we might be going deaf, given that we've been saying “Pardon?” or “What?” without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 263

Ruining the moment

By Anali - 28/05/2021 04:01

Today, I saw the girl my ex cheated on me with had her baby. I wrote a comment on her photo about how the baby was a product of her affair with my ex. She disabled her comments and I kept getting DM’s about how I should, "stop being so negative." Apparently infidelity is not frowned upon these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 1 805

Stinky

By mechgineer - 14/09/2023 12:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today is the first day that my natural, clean scent makes her nauseous. We don’t have somewhere else I can sleep and we both work from home. Twenty more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 145

Fed up, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 115

Stuck in a rut

By neurodi-HELPME - 03/06/2023 10:00

Today, my ADHD brain won't quit hyperfixating on one specific show. I've watched all 5 seasons 3 times through and have the wiki open at all times. I've tried watching other things, but even shows that I'm huge fan of don't cut it. I feel like there's no end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 260

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 04:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 202

Single and ready to Pringle

By Snanonymous - 04/06/2022 00:00

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 458

Search and rescue

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex-husband to tell him our daughter was missing (the police have since found her, she’s fine) and he told me not to bother him with shit like that, because she’s my responsibility since she chose to live with me after the divorce. He then hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 262

Cartoonish

By You knock me off my feet - 13/04/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, it's so windy, I actually fell over and nearly flew into the street the moment I walked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 159

By birkin - 22/04/2008 03:13 - France

Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a while, and I'd always wanted an uncommon proposal. As we get to the top, my mind started to fantasize. As he rifled through his pockets, I think to myself, “This is it, our big moment!” He then says, “I've always wanted to smoke a cigarette at 300 meters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 151

Life goals

By BlackRose - 07/08/2021 18:01

Today, I realized I’d rather be the crazy cat lady rather than get married and have kids like a normal human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 323

Smells like team spirit

By SeriouslyDude - 13/08/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, the last game of the season was ruined by one of the new players who loves to scream trash talk. The rest of us play hard, but cheer and encourage everyone. I wish I would've known he could trash a whole game before I bankrolled a bunch of equipment repairs for next season as a senior player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 154

Tactical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 18:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 367

That's not how that works

By fishbearpig - 17/01/2024 13:00 - Romania

Today, I got scammed of 16k by a car dealer. I went to the place, paid for the car, and paid to have it transported to my address. The car should've been delivered, the dealer vanished either way with the car. The police and bank can’t do much, and I lost my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 182

Nervous Nelly

By Nervous wreck - 30/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, my social anxiety is so bad that the mere thought of talking to anyone, even someone who isn't even real, makes me feel ill and uneasy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 202

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 08:08

Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 1 712

Not under my watch!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 22:00

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 216

Sunday funday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 01:30

Today, my 6 year-old daughter decided to let out a loud fart in the middle of a quiet church service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 420

Cat Mojo

By Me. - 10/05/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 145

Such a nice guy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 581

Asshat

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 103

Buzzed

By Who needs sleep - 19/04/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 74

Complaint

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 80

By youonlyneed2squares - 24/09/2014 04:10

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 52

Taxi!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I brought my Tinder date back to my house to cook for her. I made her gnocchi, because she had never had it before. She forgot to tell me she was lactose intolerant, and proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes violently and loudly shitting. I poisoned my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 129

Support system

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 175

Family outing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I’m being threatened with police action after my twins “beat up” a big kid for grabbing my daughter’s butt. They hit him with rocks and kicked him repeatedly. My twins are 7, my daughter is 10, and the other kid is 12. Maybe little perv in training should keep his hands to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 89

That's kind of abusive

By Tea gurl - 23/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend “accidentally” spilled a cup of hot tea on my lap at the dinner table. I had to get treated for second degree burns, because the skin on my lap was heavily saturated with the stuff. Apparently, he’s still mad at me for buying a male coworker a present for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 100

Seek help

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since his parents died in a crash, my husband is so petrified of his own eventual death that he's determined not to waste any time, even on sleep, and now only allows himself one REM cycle of sleep per night, around 90 minutes. He’s falling apart and refuses to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 85

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 315

You deserved it 10 843

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 006

You deserved it 3 415

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 575

You deserved it 3 349

Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 140

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 262

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 739

You deserved it 8 006