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By ToiletTroubles - 03/07/2013 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 138

You deserved it 3 136

Get a load of this guy?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my father won't let me sleep in the same bed as my fiancée, because, "God dislikes indecent things." I've been with my fiancée for over 5 years. My father came to live with us months ago, because his now ex-wife sacked him for cheating on her and scamming her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 362

By virginmary - 06/12/2009 08:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 602

You deserved it 3 208

Which part of pandemic don't you understand?

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 23:02

Today, after quarantining for 2 weeks so I could spend Christmas with my parents, they went over to see a COVID hoaxer/Trump-supporting neighbor, and spent an hour inside with him, without wearing masks. I'm a nurse, working with cancer patients. They don't understand why I'm upset, and are angry that I'm leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 314

By brokeasscollegelife - 20/11/2015 21:25 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 671

You deserved it 3 471

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 17:18 - Czech Republic

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 825

You deserved it 3 111

I'm bringing sexy back

By Not-so-sexy - 04/12/2009 12:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he replied was, "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 6 898

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 226

By BC94 - 16/07/2012 04:21 - United States - Mcminnville

Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 574

You deserved it 2 849

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 219

You deserved it 3 675

By Ohhh the pain - 28/04/2019 04:00

Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhoea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realise she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. 5 minutes later I shit and vomited myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 240

By afraid of flying too - 24/06/2013 23:24 - Canada - Fort Saint John

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 982

You deserved it 6 651

By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 283

You deserved it 48 101

Doofus

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 13:58 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the father of my son cheated on me, but with fake sex bots that pretend to be real people. I don’t know whether I’m more disappointed in him cheating, or the fact that he couldn’t even get it right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 216

Neverending

By Covid3.0 - 12/03/2022 07:00 - United States - Livermore

Today, despite getting all vaccinations and taking all precautions, I've tested positive for Covid. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 380

Nervous

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Whittier

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am when the guy in the show I was watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 296

You deserved it 5 490

By bettycrocker - 14/05/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 392

You deserved it 5 904

ClaireB9 tells us more.

ClaireB9 0

Friday 15 May 2009 8:28

Hey all - I'm the OP. To answer the most commonly asked question: the trick to keeping cookies fresh for a week is to add an extra tablespoon of vegetable oil to the dough, putting a piece of bread in with them and putting them in the smallest ziploc possible.

That's the rule

By whatdidido - 06/05/2019 18:05 - United States - Conover

Today, I was messaging a girl on a dating app. Things were going well so I thought I'd ask her to meet. She had listed hiking as an interest 3 times on her profile so I suggested we meet at a state park. She told me she doesn't hike on a first meet and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 725

By KayPlay - 04/11/2016 13:35 - United States

Today, I wore my best suit to an interview. I was told they didn't have any knight shifts available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 94

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 081

You deserved it 3 429

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 667

You deserved it 6 745

Survivor!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 16:16 - United States - Mansfield

Spicy

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 652

You deserved it 8 840

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 02:00

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 335

By LonelyShowers - 04/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Mission Hills

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 4 078

By Sh*t - 02/07/2012 21:17 - Venezuela - Caracas

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 779

You deserved it 2 905

By thjeltz - 27/10/2010 18:48 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 3 075

By CT - 25/11/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 816

You deserved it 2 300

By Upset - 10/06/2013 23:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 090

You deserved it 4 234

By Anonymous - 20/11/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 994

You deserved it 7 628

Caught in 4K

By Abby - 18/07/2023 06:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I absentmindedly posted a story of me and my boyfriend to my main stories instead of my “Close Friends” list where my husband is excluded. My husband saw the post. I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 4 109

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 215

You deserved it 4 982

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my, "stupid fucking prank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 182

Today, I have to figure out how to explain to my 6 year-old daughter when she gets home from school that she won’t be having a birthday party anymore, because she caught daddy having it off with the babysitter, and now we have nowhere to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 344

Today, I realised I might be a masochist. I enjoy being owned like an object and ordered like a slave. I don’t know where my life will go anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 302

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 726

You deserved it 3 964

Today, doesn't it piss anybody else off, as well as it seems a bit suspicious, that YouTube adverts will play perfectly without buffering or delay, yet the actual video you wanted to watch can spend almost 5 minutes buffering, and keeps stopping every 10 seconds to buffer again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 191