So Many Feelings

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 92

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 40

So Many Feelings

By FML Videos - 21/09/2018 12:30

This is the real me, Mom!

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 62

Kinky

Glass half empty

Freaked out

13/01/2016 12:06

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 151

You deserved it 1 831

15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 675

Make it so

By MissArizona - 25/11/2020 06:26

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 882

You deserved it 4 101

Left behind

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 17:02

Today, it was my best friend's birthday party. Her boyfriend and I agreed to organize a dinner date to surprise her and celebrate. They celebrated, but forgot me until they arrived at the restaurant and saw the dinner reservation under my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 131

01/05/2009 13:15

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 954

You deserved it 3 549

09/06/2015 20:52

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 433

You deserved it 2 812

07/03/2012 11:14

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 071

You deserved it 5 336

25/12/2013 18:27

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 805

You deserved it 14 661

30/06/2019 12:12

Today, my son got an email saying he could win an iPad if he just entered his credit card number. He asked for mine, telling me that it was so he could buy some school supplies online, so I gave it to him. The internet just conned a credit card number out of a 17-year-old nitwit. And me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 955

20/03/2011 21:40

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 778

You deserved it 7 098

28/07/2015 00:08

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 009

You deserved it 2 910

09/12/2014 21:19

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 020

You deserved it 4 255

I was bored before I even began

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 23:01

Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 178

27/11/2014 20:38

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 929

You deserved it 4 068

20/08/2014 20:08

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 567

You deserved it 3 373

06/05/2014 05:42

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 938

You deserved it 4 821

20/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that when someone posts a "story" on Instagram, they can see who has viewed it and how many times. I have been viewing an ex's story every day for the past week. We do not follow each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 4 361

18/08/2009 19:20

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 127 987

You deserved it 9 721

12/02/2013 07:41

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 335

You deserved it 2 969

08/08/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 997

You deserved it 740

02/05/2015 18:39

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 951

08/03/2011 18:23

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 158

You deserved it 8 981

Don't drink and letch

By GonnaGetFired - 31/03/2010 00:11

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 594

You deserved it 40 160

18/01/2010 00:57

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 602

You deserved it 39 253

14/10/2012 04:24

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 4 455

07/02/2010 01:19

Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 4 987

26/11/2018 21:00

Today, after looking for my phone for three weeks, I used find my iPhone to track it to my sister-in-law's house. Her response? "Finders keepers, losers weepers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 255

19/04/2015 15:06

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 690

You deserved it 7 850

13/08/2009 00:34

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 150

You deserved it 41 771

22/03/2013 21:53

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 028

15/09/2014 03:07

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 089

You deserved it 3 053

26/09/2011 11:46

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 253

You deserved it 34 932

It means he cares

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 23:01

Today, I found out that my boyfriend jerked off more times than he called me when I was out of town for 4 days. Me: 0; porn: 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 557

01/10/2013 16:36

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 674

You deserved it 3 611

21/04/2013 12:26

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 835

You deserved it 4 238

29/11/2009 07:59

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 542

You deserved it 9 904

23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 195

02/07/2011 06:44

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 954

You deserved it 5 215

25/07/2015 15:51

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 224

You deserved it 2 081

Sounds fishy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 11:01

Today, I told my wife I wasn’t comfortable with her going out with an old guy friend. Petty, sure, but our sex life is non-existent. I found out that she's been seeing him behind my back for months, spent the night with him last week and claims there’s nothing going on. Trying to decide whether I should stay or go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 158

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

awildwhisper 30

Send a private message

Friday 21 September 2018 20:59

😮 oh uh WOW !That was a lot to take in... give me a sec.

pjsr 32

Send a private message

Saturday 22 September 2018 6:05

Phil... what were you thinking?

Comments

awildwhisper 30

Send a private message

Friday 21 September 2018 20:59

😮 oh uh WOW !That was a lot to take in... give me a sec.

pjsr 32

Send a private message

Saturday 22 September 2018 6:05

Phil... what were you thinking?

crazycrochetlady 12

Send a private message

Saturday 22 September 2018 6:50

Dr. Phil please stick to helping people, not scaring them... thanks

KittyMack 13

Send a private message

Saturday 22 September 2018 18:45

Whaaa? Pretty sure this is more helpful and less scary than his usual activities! All Oprah's proteges are snakeoil selling hucksters.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Send a private message

Saturday 22 September 2018 7:33

Did this tape slip through some terrifying version of a parallel universe? That's the only sensible explanation I can think of.