By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 17:59 - United States

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 387
You deserved it 35 712

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sparkiee93 3

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. You won't get sick if you cover your dick. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey. Don't be silly, cover your willy. Before you attack her wrap your whacker. Don't be a loner cover your boner. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRAP IT JUST GO HOME AND WHACK IT

Babushka_Homyak 10

That is ****** up. Get new friends.


Babushka_Homyak 10

That is ****** up. Get new friends.

TheZarola 10

I somewhat agree. His "friends" likely knew that he was drunk and they were irresponsible by letting him have sex like that. YDI OP, obviously, for getting that drunk and having sex with someone you probably didn't know.

now go ahead and rub their toothbrushes all over your balls and share the wealth

Did you seriously just abbreviate "dumbass?" Also, yes, Herpes keeps on giving. Chlamydia is easily treated with antibiotics.

natas_fml 13

Maybe she thinks he's a district attorney.

haileybyrd 4

They probably did it on purpose. Think hard OP, have you done anything to upset your friends lately?

consider yourself lucky because ( I may be wrong on this ) I'm pretty sure Chlamidia is curable. in that case you're lucky!!

TurboTalon 0

It's easily treatable so I'm not sure why OP is so upset. Sounds like a pretty great birthday!

haa it is . but agreed , I would've had fun .

woow this is why u gotta find good friends!!

Yea if my friends did that I'd find some way to let them have a share of it.

I see that wasn't the end of their gift for you. Sucks to be you.

perdix 29

The stripper's name was Chlamydia, but you were too drunk to get it . . . so you ended up getting it, and getting it. Sorry you forgot the sex. You should have known the pleasure now that peeing is going to be a burning pus-sy ordeal.

traze 7

So...ah...your ******. Enjoy the gift.

Don't have sex with strangers, kthnxbai. You could always get back at your friends by finding out who the stripper was and report her for prostitution and your friends for solicitation of a prostitute. Furthermore, if said stripper was literally paid to have sex with you and was not intoxicated, and you were drunk to the point of black-out, then it could be considered rape, or date rape at least.

If I'm considered a tool for being pissed off if my friends had a stripper have sex with me when I'm black-out drunk then so be it. **** all that noise. Also I don't really take this seriously, as it's coming from the guy named "every1luvsboners." Btw, eat a dick bro :D

traze 7

Ah...I guess use protection is the point of this set of rhymes.

#17 I read your comment in a happy childish song kind of way because of the rhyming... Am I insane??

#22 The only 2 words in that sentence that rhyme are "you're" and "sure." Maybe I'm missing something.

If it says he doesn't remember anything that happened last night, that's called a black-out you ******* idiot.

your right and he's wrong that's all there is to it but I doubt he would report his own friends

Meant "that" night. Selective amnesia...are you serious? It says"I don't remember the night of the birthday BECAUSE I was hammered." Waiting for the part where you make look stupid. You've insulted me several more times than I have, you. Ok "son?"

It doesn't, meant "that night." Selective amnesia....are you serious? It says "I didn't remember the night of the birthday BECAUSE I was hammered." Still waiting for the part where you make me look stupid. You've insulted me several more times than I have, you. Ok "son?" Done arguing with the obvious 15 year old. Let me reiterate that you should eat a dick.

jerkheadguy 1

23, girls that get drunk should control their holes and not cry rape then no?

EvilDave 13

Hey, asshole, he was so drunk he doesn't remember the night.

xcrashxloved 0

How many times have you commented. a bitch like you should GET a dick