Love: Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my...

By weddingbells - 25/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 904

You deserved it 2 507

Love

Rampage

Good news

Insane parents, part 38765

Gotta start somewhere

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 05:02

Today, I found out my parents paid my "best friend" to be my friend for the past 7 years. She's my only friend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 81

Sex Ed has failed a lot of people

By Anonymous - 20/10/2019 02:00

Today, a senior girl in my college-level biology course asked our professor what periods are like when you’re pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 162

By Janet - 10/03/2009 13:02 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 013

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 22:21 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 476

You deserved it 3 077

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 327

You deserved it 7 544

Grandma's here!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 268

You deserved it 3 864

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 999

You deserved it 31 703

By boyo - 21/05/2009 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 300

You deserved it 81 898

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 542

You deserved it 1 538

By Latina - 11/01/2013 10:24 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 577

You deserved it 7 563

By 12incher - 15/03/2009 04:45 - United States

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 465

You deserved it 42 615

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 3 324

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 787

You deserved it 12 053

Moving

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 05:00

Today, I realized timing really is everything. I met the man of my dreams less than a month before I’m relocating for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 225

Crisis

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 23:00

Today, I had a customer throw his purchase at me and demand a refund after I told him that, due to the national change shortage, I couldn't give him his 38 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 315

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 776

You deserved it 602

My brain and I

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 08:00

Today, it’s late and I’m so tired, I’m not even able to read a book anymore, or walk around without bumping into things. Yet apparently, my brain still doesn't consider this a sign that we should fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 65

By abnormallyadam - 09/02/2016 13:08 - Australia - Footscray

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 872

You deserved it 4 783

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 4 219

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 13:43 - United States - Orlando

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 647

You deserved it 4 753

Secret unlocked

By Anonymous - 25/01/2010 08:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 782

You deserved it 5 157

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 06:53 - United States - Manchester

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 827

You deserved it 2 925

By reyoflight - 19/04/2013 22:04 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 336

You deserved it 7 389

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 531

You deserved it 9 308

By katie06 - 28/10/2010 06:39 - United States

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 053

You deserved it 5 696

By pyrogypsy - 24/10/2014 01:05 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 4 600

By Sarah - 01/01/2013 15:15 - United States

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 019

You deserved it 5 534

By Cody - 19/07/2010 13:59 - United States

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 707

You deserved it 8 027

By Anonymous - 11/02/2013 20:58 - United States - Raynham

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 954

You deserved it 3 830

It's all in the timing

By laststand11 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, my mom used, "Happy Thanksgiving break" and, "We sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 987

You deserved it 2 479

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:09 - United States - Redlands

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother who passed last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 028

You deserved it 2 661

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 07:59

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 85

By poop - 03/04/2013 18:45

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 809

You deserved it 6 600

By FootFlakes - 09/04/2013 17:58 - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 921

You deserved it 4 423

By Gus - 30/11/2012 19:30 - Canada - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 4 939

Libertarian nightmare

By Juan Carlos - 09/09/2021 08:00

Today, when I checked on my last payroll, I realized that I pay more in taxes than I do in house bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 93

On deaf ears

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 02:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 61

By ToiletTony - 19/06/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 808

You deserved it 51 459

Serial killer vibes

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 22:01

Today, when my son told me he wanted to work with animals, I thought he meant a vet, turns out his actual career goal was to be the guy who puts the strays to sleep at the animal control centre. He got that job and I’ve never seen him happier. What monster have I raised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 143

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Top comments

hk_fml 9

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:39

I think she had every right to be selfish and upset that they suddenly fucked up her wedding with news about her father cheating on her mother. There's a place and a time for everything.

Kylias 6

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Monday 25 January 2010 12:19

@5 Because everybody pictures their wedding as follows: "And do you, Mr. Everyman take Mrs. Lady as your lawfully wedded--" "YOU STUPID CHEATING WHORE, GET OUT OF MY FACE!" "I NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU!"

tom9686 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:32

who won mum or dad ?

nazooer 11

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Monday 25 January 2010 13:08

I won mom AND dad.

ginob 0

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Saturday 30 January 2010 0:50

ahaha hillarious

HeroOfWar 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:32

I've seen worse. But fyl indeed.

SmokinGuns 13

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Sunday 17 November 2013 12:54

You took such a nice username...and made it look stupid.

Razornick 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:34

Sounds like an AWESOME wedding, bet you had the time of your life. FYL

hk_fml 9

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:34

Woah. O__O I'd love an update for this story!

smaginn 0

Monday 25 January 2010 9:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

unfortunate_13 5

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:38

selfish parents much? you don't make a scene on your child's wedding. end of story.

alesi_fml 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 11:20

WTF #5, her parents can't be tactful enough to keep their mouth shut at their child's wedding and you call OP a selfish person?!

Kylias 6

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Monday 25 January 2010 12:19

JoshTheMaggot 8

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Monday 25 January 2010 16:18

^ this wins

PhillyFox 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 16:37

If that were to happen to a special event that you invested a significant amount of time and money into, and something like this happened, you'd probably be the first one to bitch. OP has every right to be upset about it. Finding out that your dad is cheating on your mom is bad enough. Having them make a scene about it in front of the rest of your family, your in-laws, and friends on the day that you're supposed to be celebrating love and commitment is horrible.

afarr 0

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Monday 25 January 2010 17:13

number 5 its HER wedding and her Parents werec arguing. OP just move in and never see them again.

drewbell 0

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Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:08

I love it!

whatthe_efff 0

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Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:15

Number 5, you're an idiot. There shouldn't even be a You Deserved It button for this.

VonHoolio 1

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 21:43

well there's always those people in weddings who make a scene, guess this time it was mommy and daddy. sorry bout your luck.

alexthecutie 0

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Monday 3 May 2010 1:50

#49, agreed

ninidunut 0

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Friday 17 June 2011 0:04

it's a fml because , not only has ops dad cheated on there mum but they've also been arguing AND it was in a wedding

potterfreak3949 0

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Wednesday 28 December 2011 17:34

youre retareded i hope your parent.mess up your wedding.

tifani322 13

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Sunday 15 January 2012 23:50

Selfish? Umm no. How would you like it if your parents made a scene at one of the biggest, most important day of your life? That would have been himiliating!!

TheVengefulGeek 28

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Monday 11 June 2012 18:47

Selfish? What the fuck is your problem? It was OP's big day. Of COURSE she'd post this as an FML. God. -.-

Briiyahh 7

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Sunday 22 July 2012 20:19

STFU let me see your wedding be ruined by bullshit that could've been takin outside dumbass bitch

hk_fml 9

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Monday 25 January 2010 9:39

I think she had every right to be selfish and upset that they suddenly fucked up her wedding with news about her father cheating on her mother. There's a place and a time for everything.