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Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!

Hi everyone, I'm the OP. I can't believe after all these years I finally got an FML published! I agree with all the comments that this is incredibly sad - for almost a week afterwards I was having flashbacks about the terrible sounds and the sight of blood and hair in the heater. The second the heater started shaking I knew what had happened and tried to turn it off right away. The squeaking stopped once I turned it off, but then I could hear frantic scratching which started to become slower and slower as the minutes passed. I still feel sick thinking about it :( My lovely and brave colleague came to help me (I live in China and we are all provided flats in the same building). He took apart the heater, got the rat out (he was wedged between the fan and the top of the unit), and cleaned everything for me. Unfortunately the rat was still alive when we got him out, so my very brave colleague took him outside and ended his suffering because there was no way he could be saved (and there aren't animal hospitals in China, at least in our area). As for getting a new heater, like I said I live in China, and the owner of the university I work at is really cheap. So I'm working on it, but don't see them shelling out the money for a new heater unfortunately.

OP here, just wanted to expand on this to answer some questions. Both bank and credit cards are joint for us— the act of bringing in the income and shopping for the “perfect” gift is what we consider the act of gifting within our relationship. The price on the credit card bill was not the factor that would have ruined the surprise as it was planned to show as a paypal purchase and he already knew I had bought him a gift; the surprise was in knowing what the gift actually was. Customer service, on the other hand, doesn't usually call anyone to confirm purchases—I have purchased far more expensive things without receiving a call before. I just got unlucky this time I guess! His surprise came in early and he was still happy. For those wondering why we have joint accounts while dating; we’ve been together for six years as common-law partners and our relationship is built on trust and honesty. He got a gamer girlfriend but I got lucky with a good man!

OP here, first of all I'm still in school making A's in my honors courses and secondly it was neither human nor dog shit, apparently a guy brought his kid into the theater to see Paranormal Activity and the kid got so scared he threw up then dumped his popcorn and mozzarella sticks on the ground

Hi, this is OP! I can't believe this got posted! Anyway, he has always been a huge mama's boy and thinks that her way is the only way. She is a rather rude and opinionated woman, and has raised him to think that there is only one way to do things, and that's her way. I did talk to him and explain that I am not his mother and that I like myself just as I am and don't plan on changing, and he got pretty upset about it. We are now over, but it doesn't bother me much since this has been an ongoing issue for awhile now, and he just can't accept me for who I am. He was always trying to tell me that I should cut my long hair super short because his mom cut hers that way, and even asked me what I would do if I woke up with short hair, which concerned me. He also told me he and his mom didn't like my choice of clothing so that I should dress like she does, that I should wear my makeup like hers, and that my opinions, morals and values should be exactly the same as his mother's. It was just too much, and he got really upset when I told him no. He even suggested I quit college and my decent-paying job and get a job working with his mom for minimum wage and to draw welfare like her. He also always expected me to drive him everywhere, buy him everything he wanted, and baby him. I think I dodged a bullet, and I feel much better without all of the pressure to change.