Animals: Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to...

By FacePalmPower - 03/10/2015 22:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 2 074

FacePalmPower tells us more.

FacePalmPower 12

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Sunday 4 October 2015 19:39

Hey OP here! Yes, it was a very stupid move he made, but it WAS an accident! He got the mushroom confused with another which he thought was safe! Although I am very sad, I now have a strict "No feeding the rabbits!" rule! So my other 5 buns should be safe. He was also the rabbit my mother got me before she moved out of state for good so it's even sadder. And no I did not dump him, we've been together for 3 years and although I was pissed for a day or two, I forgave him because I know he wouldn't hurt my rabbits on purpose, he knows they are all like my little children! All of your comments cracked me up though so I'm glad I could get a laugh out of a sad situation. Thanks guys, you rock!

Animals

Dementia or hate? You decide

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Economic abuse

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 042

You deserved it 58 787

By Man vs. Spider - 28/02/2010 17:05 - United States

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 645

You deserved it 8 377

Notice me please

By wut? - 04/05/2020 14:00

Today, my daughter has been locked in her room screaming and sobbing for the past 2 hours. Apparently, I didn’t make a big enough deal of her coming out, so I must not care about her. What I said was I didn’t care if she was gay, and that it wouldn’t change anything. Sorry for being accepting I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 212

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 08:00

Today, my youngest son got lost while shopping. I was frantic, but my oldest son didn’t care, his opinion seemed to be "Who cares?" and "Quick, let’s leave before he turns up." He didn’t even unplug his earphones or look up from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 232

Silver-brown linings

By Isa - 22/09/2021 11:00

Today, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a couple of weeks ago. The upside is that the diabetic meds I've been prescribed help with weight loss. The takeaway? Diarrhea. Lots and lots of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 293

You deserved it 6 061

Hairline fracture

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 16:00

Today, I ended things with the love of my life. I kept my composure the entire conversation, and was even fine when I got home. It wasn't until I was showering at night and found one of his hairs in my butt crack that I lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 428

By Grandson - 07/11/2013 05:52 - United States - Ontario

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 301

You deserved it 4 583

By Rafiki - 22/02/2010 03:14 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 255

You deserved it 31 582

By scribbler8 - 14/10/2011 09:35 - Canada

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 370

You deserved it 2 562

By Anonymous - 03/10/2015 20:45 - United States - Fair Haven

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 967

You deserved it 2 204

Rock n Roll is a dirty business

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 23:01

Today, I was in a band with some friends and we got our first gig at a local festival, but I'd already agreed to work serving drinks at the festival. My bandmates got really annoyed and kicked me out of the band. They then went ahead and performed the song that I WROTE, without me, at the festival where i was working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 795

By cheesfactor - 19/05/2012 19:50 - Bulgaria - Rousse

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 2 360

He deserved it. Snapping ain't cool unless you're a turtle.

By accidentalsmartass - 06/03/2017 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I learned that I may have caused a public speaker and author to be fired, because my response to his "open chat" question flustered him, causing him to lose his cool and snap at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 227

You deserved it 701

By livay315 - 08/04/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 799

You deserved it 4 103

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 13:39 - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 4 011

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 178

You deserved it 8 166

By help - 05/01/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 929

You deserved it 2 789

By mybossisanass - 23/04/2013 08:17 - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 006

You deserved it 4 679

By anonymous - 27/10/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 394

You deserved it 7 293

By hrs220 - 21/05/2016 21:55 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 822

You deserved it 1 510

By mackmoons - 10/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out someone doing the exact same job as me at work is making $900 more than me on their paycheck. The only reason is because when he messes up, he blames it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 05:18 - United States

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 3 204

By IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish - 03/03/2016 05:32 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 540

You deserved it 2 549

By stephiew - 14/07/2011 03:15 - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 619

You deserved it 2 515

By LostSleep - 24/05/2016 21:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 695

You deserved it 775

By adam - 15/02/2010 02:16 - United States

Today, I made heart-shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 047

You deserved it 4 190

By hehe - 02/02/2011 23:57

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 608

You deserved it 6 285

By overthehorizon - 27/07/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire 2 acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 451

You deserved it 4 182

By no new apartment for me - 18/07/2013 19:53 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 623

You deserved it 4 200

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 026

You deserved it 4 395

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 185

You deserved it 2 983

By Anonymous - 23/05/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the guy I have loved for seven years asked me to move in with him. Turns out he only did so because he needed someone to pay the rent since he's quit his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 4 921

Modern warfare

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 22:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I enjoyed my peaceful evening, I realized that my redneck neighbors had gone into the hills to shoot machine guns. How the almighty f**k did they get MACHINE GUNS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 163

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 216

By GodSquad - 26/09/2013 08:06 - United Kingdom - Blackburn

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 342

You deserved it 7 975

By notout - 17/10/2017 15:00

Today, my 28-year-old brother screamed at me and outed me to our very religious, homophobic parents because I wouldn't let him shock his friend with an electric dog collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 359

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 14:05

Today, I finally hit rock bottom when I broke down in tears because I forgot to feed my cats in Neko Atsume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 638

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend looked so unhappy in a photo we took that I downloaded an editing app, and edited the photo to make it look like he was smiling before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 881

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 01:05 - United States

Today, I mailed out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realized that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 437

You deserved it 32 186

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Top comments

oceanbrickfire 21

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:17

Yeah, your boyfriend's natural stupidity. Sorry for your loss though OP.

The_Basileus 9

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:19

Your boyfriend is both irresponsible and stupid.

oceanbrickfire 21

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:17

Yeah, your boyfriend's natural stupidity. Sorry for your loss though OP.

drunkmunkey 24

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Sunday 4 October 2015 22:35

feed him the mushrooms and see what the natural reaction is

extrasnipes 22

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Monday 5 October 2015 2:07

Am I the only one who thought by "random mushroom from the woods" meant shrooms?

psychedelicdezzy 14

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Monday 5 October 2015 3:50

Haha! absolutely not #53 ;)

Lalala579121 27

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Monday 5 October 2015 7:56

Yes 53, you are 53. Congratulations for knowing your comment number.

psychedelicdezzy 14

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Friday 9 October 2015 5:46

hahaha oops damn I should have payed atention! I look like an idiot!

writerchic85 25

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:18

Well mushrooms are natural and they caused the death of your rabbit so he's technically right.

leogachi 15

Sunday 4 October 2015 21:09

@2 It required human interference, which isn't considered natural.

higgysaurus 18

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Sunday 4 October 2015 21:12

#39 aren't humans a part of nature....?

clemsi 20

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Monday 5 October 2015 18:13

40 Humans can affect nature, but I'm honestly not sure if we are a part of it anymore. Louis CK has a joke about humans being out of the food chain because of things like fast food and grocery stores. Then again I might just be thinking about it to hard.

The_Basileus 9

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:19

Your boyfriend is both irresponsible and stupid.

benedictjongoh 10

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:22

feed him the same mushroom, see if its natural then

Redoxx_fml 22

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:23

Slap him and tell him it was a natural reaction

tranced_ 44

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:27

tell me you dumped him?

HoboMeth 33

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:32

PANDORUM89 21

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Sunday 4 October 2015 17:00

I'd dump my bf if he killed one of my pets. I mean it not like he forgot to feed your fish tank (though I'd be furious since mines saltwater) he fed it something that is KNOWN to be dangerous to eat unless you get it from a grocery store or have a full understanding of how to pick good/poisonous mushrooms. So 1. I wouldnt want to be with someone that is that stupid and 2. Someone that is irresponsible enough to kill not only an animal but MY animal. of course this stance could just be because I'm an avid animal lover and owner and I don't own a single pet under $250.

404wan 19

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Saturday 22 June 2019 13:41

I got my cat for free. If anyone hurt him, i would skin them. You cant put a pricetag on an animal you love.

DoomedGemini 37

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Sunday 4 October 2015 19:16

Yeah, he killed op's rabbit, which is enough to me to warrant breakup, but he also won't even step up and take rightful blame. I'd never want to see or talk to him again.

sturschaedel 27

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Sunday 4 October 2015 21:00

I'd dump him because I'd fear for my life every time he cooks me a meal.

mikuxxhatsune 31

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Monday 5 October 2015 8:07

Imagine if they had kids? He 'gave the baby some random drink he found under the kitchen sink'.

lavapants 15

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Monday 5 October 2015 11:27

Yeah she should dump him because of an accident, very clever and mature.

Pinwheel 10

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Monday 5 October 2015 14:23

What accident? He killed the rabbit.

PhoenixChick 26

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Saturday 10 October 2015 18:01

He killed a rabbit because he was uncaring and ignorant enough to break every basic rule of safety with pets, and mess around with a bunny loved by his girlfriend. I don't care if it's an accident, if you kill someone I love I'm gonna have a hard time having valentine's day with you.

aura07 7

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Sunday 4 October 2015 16:27

But.. It was natural causes? I'm sorry for your loss though OP.

ohSNAPyall 26

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Sunday 4 October 2015 17:12

No. The rabbit trusted the boyfriend to take care of it; it didn't go out and find this mushroom on its own.

vintral88 11

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Sunday 4 October 2015 18:02

Natural causes would be something like it was old and it's heart gave out. This wasn't the case here, it died of poisoning. That's like saying you fed someone the same mushroom, they died, and then claiming it was natural. You would be held responsible for the death because they did not naturally die.