Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
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Top comments
stevenJB 25
I can't tell much you grow to hate deer coming from growing up in a densly deer populated area. I've hit a few myself and they'll do more damage to the car than you do them half the time. let's be glad you wet yourself rather than waking up dead or inside an ambulance. it could've been worse believe me.
JaffaMC 13
F the deer's life, I'd say... "Today, I really had to use the bathroom, so I quickly tried to cross the road. A human hit me with their car. FML"
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Comments (20)
stevenJB 25
I can't tell much you grow to hate deer coming from growing up in a densly deer populated area. I've hit a few myself and they'll do more damage to the car than you do them half the time. let's be glad you wet yourself rather than waking up dead or inside an ambulance. it could've been worse believe me.
Lalala579121 28
I agree with this comment. I just can't understand the first sentence.
anarchy_dropzz 11
Yeah anything is better than waking up dead ;) :)
Dragonstorm786 17
#4, put a how in between tell and much.
cootiequeen4444 11
I have lived in an area densely populated with deer for around a quarter of a century and I have yet to grow into a hate deer. what a rip... :c
JaffaMC 13
F the deer's life, I'd say... "Today, I really had to use the bathroom, so I quickly tried to cross the road. A human hit me with their car. FML"
RichardPencil 32
The deer probably wet itself, too, if that's any consolation.
False_Stupidity 42
Oh deer...
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
That's why I always keep a dunny roll in the car. Going behind a bush when it's urgent and there are no other options is a lot safer than rushing while driving and risking something happening.
atomwolf 11
Piss in a bush?
Kukironosuke 16
a post from maine o/, i was hit by a deer once in my familys van when i was about 10-12 years old, it hit us broadside and we went tipping on our right 2 wheels and almost rolled over, we managed to correct our vehicle by leaning the opposite direction glad you are ok OP
MrDrShrader 9
Are you sure it wasn't a moose or something that hit you, because I just don't see a deer having the power to push a van onto 2 wheels.
paige_g2013 16
coming from Maine, I'm not all that surprised with the amount of deer in the state. You're very lucky all ya did was wet yourself! glad you're alright OP!
ApplePie1994 27
Oh do'h, a deer!
caseyface1123 15
The deer is probably having a bad day too