Kids: Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with...

By Thatguynoonelikes - 29/09/2015 13:21 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 751

You deserved it 6 498

Kids

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Hiding from the drama

Renters' rights

By king400 - 25/11/2012 08:09 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 957

You deserved it 2 949

Your kid is a boffin

By Toby's.Mom. - 16/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 864

You deserved it 2 925

By Username - 15/12/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 492

You deserved it 2 921

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 005

You deserved it 57 679

Slip up

By clumsyandhungry - 15/09/2010 04:24 - United States

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 904

You deserved it 8 706

By Anonymous - 04/04/2018 01:30

Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 342

You deserved it 672

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 340

By KalaKa - 20/12/2014 20:45 - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 3 769

By moorox45 - 16/01/2012 17:10 - United States

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 418

You deserved it 11 724

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 13:38 - United States - Hudson Falls

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 584

You deserved it 2 231

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 461

You deserved it 5 036

By Anonymous - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Holyoke

Today, I was told that when I was in middle school and thought I was considered class clown for either making jokes or acting stupid, people thought I actually was stupid and/or mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 865

You deserved it 2 557

By Kayla - 12/04/2012 05:30 - United States - Mesa

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 693

You deserved it 3 198

By litup - 04/07/2009 22:48 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 6 576

By BigFoot - 29/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 966

You deserved it 20 307

By Baikal - 12/05/2013 04:09 - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 917

You deserved it 3 605

By Avery - 24/03/2012 20:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 536

You deserved it 29 904

By In Pain - 11/01/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I had gum surgery. I can't laugh. I can't smile. I can't talk. I can't eat. All I can do is wait for the pain medication to kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 628

You deserved it 2 627

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 495

By woohoo420 - 04/04/2012 16:14 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 632

You deserved it 41 342

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 837

You deserved it 2 006

By RedHatKat - 21/10/2015 02:02 - United States - Burr Hill

Today, my dryer broke in the middle of drying my essential work clothes. This resulted in me wearing partially-dried pants to work today. As a nanny I have encountered diaper rashes before, just not on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 168

You deserved it 1 803

Great parenting

By Shawn Kotris - 17/06/2021 11:01

Today, my kids' mother, who has been absent and living in a different state for over 12 years, sent a children services worker to my house with a long list of allegations, even though she's 25k behind in support, rather than try to build a normal relationship with her kids in any kind of healthy way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 55

By organizse - 20/06/2015 14:03 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 586

You deserved it 2 804

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 1 880

Ask first, snoop later

By Jenna Berreth - 07/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 2 931

By Anonymous - 02/06/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 179

You deserved it 4 606

By Yubi - 11/01/2009 15:22 - Belgium

Today, my mother told me: "If you didn't exist, I wouldn't stay with your father". So it's MY fault if she's having problems with him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 078

You deserved it 2 349

By Pontiacman92 - 29/08/2013 07:07 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 016

You deserved it 8 972

Come back

By Anonymous - 01/11/2021 01:59

Today after I got into an argument with mom's boyfriend, telling him to piss off because no one wanted him, and he did so, saying he was done putting in wasted effort, now he's gone I realise how much he did for us, or that his share of the bills paid the rent. We may lose our house because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 2 412

By nicegirl08 - 20/01/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 2 626

By DanceOnTheEdge - 20/07/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 607

You deserved it 19 346

By shut_up - 21/08/2013 14:08 - United States - Roseburg

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 722

You deserved it 5 785

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 247

You deserved it 5 019

By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 17:06 - United States

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 620

You deserved it 4 617

By fml - 27/09/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 035

You deserved it 2 361

Bad hair day

By Andrew7847 - 22/04/2012 05:24 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 092

You deserved it 4 422

he ded

By Anonymous - 27/03/2018 01:30

Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 066

You deserved it 337

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 480

You deserved it 45 112

Lonesome wheels

By Anonymous - 28/10/2021 11:00

Today, while talking to my parents about my car, my dad said, "Don't put a lot of money into it because we will give you ours when we move." I asked why, and my mom responded, "Well, we helped your sister with her wedding, so this is going to be your wedding gift." I'm getting a car out of pity for not having a wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 127

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Top comments

princessbloky 12

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:45

Ask the parents to reimburse you for it.

WitEluded 13

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:50

Hopefully the parents will get involved and fix it for you. If not, go to the parents of the kid who they sold it to.

princessbloky 12

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:45

Ask the parents to reimburse you for it.

randomguy76 14

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 2:25

Yes OP may get reimbursed for $10

countryb_cth 38

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 11:52

Umm #1 means OP being reimbursed for the full price of the console that the kids sold not the 10$. Not sure how you didn't understand that.

malcboss38 10

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:48

Hope you get it back OP

sstahpp 33

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 8:28

This would make a great Judge Judy episode.

LoyalSatanist666 13

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:48

I would beat my kids if they did that,make them apologize,and buy him a brand new console.

KeannaLove 32

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 2:40

Wow...I sincerely hope you never have kids.

ShirtlessWonder 17

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 3:41

Why do you hope he doesn't have kids? Because people are way overly sensitive to stuff like spanking kids now?

ptoka 20

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 4:02

Oh lord, in today's society spank a kid for doing something disrespectful or wrong? Who the hell do you think you are you monster! If I were to do something like this as a kid my parent's would've reimbursed the person and I'd be working my ass off doing more chores for a long time.

halberd 2

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 4:26

They didn't say "spank", 31. They said "beat".

Ashd09 30

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 4:32

I don't know if its just where I'm from or what @38, but we'll say "beat" instead of "spank" sometimes so #3 could have still meant spank.

magnoliabb 14

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Friday 2 October 2015 23:06

To the people saying "beat" also means "spank", it doesn't matter. Harming your child to "teach them a lesson" only teaches them to be afraid instead of teaching them not to do a bad thing.

xxsakuraxx 29

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Sunday 4 October 2015 14:52

Lets see how you feel about that when you are stuck taking care of a kid who is oppositional defiant and has ADHD. As someone who grew up with both and has to frequently babysit a nephew who also has both, sometimes spanking is the only way to teach them or to get them to listen. Some kids just will not listen to you if they don't get spanked. Also, my nephew laughs most of the time. He thinks its funny. Most of the time he will do what he is told next time, though. He is the type of kid where he will push your limits and won't do a thing you say until you stand up to him and show him who is boss. Yelling is not scary unless you follow up with a real threat.

mattzawesome 28

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:49

Agree with #1. That's if you can't get it back another way. Ya know, breaking into their home and taking it back.

timaeusTestified 15

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 4:13

They sold the console, though. It's not at the house anymore and OP probably doesn't know where the house is that's it's at now.

SoloAutotunE 17

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 4:19

Did you miss the one part that made this fml an fml?

JCRouzer29 27

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 22:38

Yeah while he's at it, how about they find the kid they sold it to a beat the crap out of him too! That'll teach them to buy deals that're too good to be true

alexanderavatar 24

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:50

buy it back for $12 and I guess they didnt enjoy it much

WitEluded 13

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:50

Hopefully the parents will get involved and fix it for you. If not, go to the parents of the kid who they sold it to.

BigC_from_Bama 16

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Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:51

Thats a tough one. Parents should reimburse you, but as these things go I wouldnt be surprised if they didn't for some ridiculous reason or another. Better go to the kid it was sold to and get it ftom his/her parents.