By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Twinsburg
The Top
By wtf. - 02/06/2009 16:46 - United States
beatrix_fml tells us more.
Star Wars brain
By cl4ptp - 14/08/2012 12:17 - United Kingdom - Barry
By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer
By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague
By brokenatthebar - 24/03/2017 14:00 - United States - Carleton
The real problem
By Trouble - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Slip of the tongue
By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 10:00
By an egg - 30/10/2015 13:43 - United States - Livonia
By Anonymous - 21/12/2016 05:35
By Anonymous - 20/12/2016 04:02 - United States - Bend
By saracenslament - 22/11/2016 11:47
By ThatBackfired - 17/11/2016 15:51
ThatBackfired tells us more.
Wow. This is HILARIOUS. 1) Yes, the collar VIBRATES and nothing else. I shelled out extra for the model that had no shock option whatsoever. The collar does not shock, it does not blast his ears. The second would be useless, since he’s pretty much deaf. I would never use either of those on a dog. Yes, I tried it on myself. I have far more powerful sources of vibration. Yes, I used it previously in training. He didn’t react like this. 2) Unfortunately, his previous owner left him in a crate and forgot about him, so that isn’t an option. 3) He’s good in the car and doesn’t always bark, only when he’s (a) in the car and (b) sees rescue vehicles or other large dogs. That makes it ******* hard to predict when he’s going to bark, and makes positive reinforcement pretty much impossible, since I can’t tell WHILE DRIVING A CAR if he’s seen something and not reacted. And how exactly should I give him a treat, praise, or affection when he’s in the back, I’m in the front, and he can’t hear me? 4) Next time you’re driving, shove an earbud into one ear and tell your passenger that at some point in the drive, they should turn on the MP3 player it’s connected to, which you have preset at maximum volume. Explain to them that this is perfectly safe, and will not distract you at a crucial moment in the drive or cause you any pain whatsoever. Now imagine this happens every time you get into a car with them, and you may understand why I’m trying to train it out of him.
A like is a like, dude
By Anonymous - 04/06/2017 12:00
Can't be bothered
By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 00:30
By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland
By DabTheFuckOut - 16/09/2016 19:35 - United States - Honolulu
The tape
By floff - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 11/09/2016 05:52 - United States - Philadelphia
Cooked
By SorryIDontMatchStandardSizes - 02/09/2016 04:06 - United States
By anon - 30/08/2016 18:32 - United States - Atlanta
By Anonymous - 07/10/2017 01:30
By wellthen - 12/07/2016 21:35 - United States - Clarksville
The buck stops here
By Anonymous - 30/06/2016 20:42 - United States - Milwaukee
Monster in my bathroom
By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00
By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull
Sad but true
By mcginnismr - 13/05/2016 22:57
Coulda, shoulda, woulda
By DeathbyWording - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Vernon
By Salliemae - 11/08/2018 13:00 - United States - Manchester
Don't come
By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Keywords
okay. OP here. yes, i created an account just to answer some questions. 1) i am a girl. but really, i'm sorry. it's pretty much just as creepy as if i were a guy. 2) the reason he didn't hear me or see me is because the way my house is set up, it's a two-story house with a full finished basement. i live in the basement. i was coming up the stairs, and the kitchen is at the top of the stairs. so i was still near the bottom of the stairs, he was up at the top in the kitchen. also, he was humming to himself and clearly... not paying attention to anything else. also, the kitchen is right by the laundry room, so it wasn't completely random that he was standing in the kitchen with them. except... it still kind of is. 3) they were definitely my underwear. 4) he does have mental health issues. the reason he lives with us is because he was really depressed a few years ago. but that's pretty much the least of his problems. heebidy jeebidy. 5) i honestly don't know if they were clean or not. and lastly... yes, i have told my parents. they're not sure what to do about it, but they are putting a lock on my door and all of my laundry is to stay in my room now and go directly from my room to the washer and back to my room, and he's not allowed anywhere near them. i don't think they've talked to him about it yet. ewihatehim.