Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily...

By wellthen - 12/7/2016 21:35 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11186

You deserved it

953

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Caught red-handed

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

Not a cheating!

By Ugly_Broke_Medussssssa - 16/8/2018 01:30

Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2695

You deserved it

188

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/9/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53597

You deserved it

3959

Favorite

By Marie Foster - 27/7/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I was talking to my online therapist about my problems with relationships, mainly that guys only want sex and don't listen to me. After I'd confided in him, and told him how I felt about my issues, he told me he would marry me and have my children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1798

You deserved it

201

Favorite

By fuckerman - 3/5/2009 03:47 - Canada

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65445

You deserved it

4345

Favorite

By hellokitty133 - 30/9/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30859

You deserved it

3702

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25317

You deserved it

48555

Favorite

By Crotch_Rocket_Rider - 6/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37563

You deserved it

7685

Favorite

By Beefballs - 29/7/2009 06:22 - Canada

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58193

You deserved it

3065

Favorite

By crippled - 8/7/2014 08:40 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45060

You deserved it

4263

Favorite

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks

29484

You deserved it

8843

Favorite

By eddie818 - 10/6/2012 07:54 - Canada - Sidney

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30095

You deserved it

3147

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/4/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55482

You deserved it

8642

Favorite

By hungry - 1/1/2015 05:50 - United States

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35608

You deserved it

3971

Favorite

By fhe - 16/4/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25530

You deserved it

2662

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/9/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22160

You deserved it

5073

Favorite

By DatAss - 15/1/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23865

You deserved it

2411

Favorite

By Sara - 25/2/2016 07:39 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19129

You deserved it

5705

Favorite

By PeterRabit - 25/7/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19797

You deserved it

47045

Favorite

By asdf - 20/6/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46489

You deserved it

5332

Favorite

By independant - 8/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2625

You deserved it

426

Favorite

By Jota - 23/10/2017 19:00

Today, I was doing a job interview on Skype when my roommate decided to reboot the wireless router because "the internet was too slow". The interviewer didn't bother calling again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4114

You deserved it

345

Favorite

By GrossedOut - 11/1/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29794

You deserved it

2393

Favorite

By ripped - 7/9/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13713

You deserved it

1343

Favorite

By an idiot - 16/2/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34868

You deserved it

7742

Favorite

By screwedhousemate - 28/3/2011 11:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33794

You deserved it

4250

Favorite

By yeah okay then - 3/8/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21828

You deserved it

2062

Favorite

By yvon la moto - 6/11/2015 10:26 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10958

You deserved it

31975

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/1/2014 05:14 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61545

You deserved it

13628

Favorite

By NeedANewWindshield - 24/8/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1492

You deserved it

Favorite

By fmlgirl - 9/5/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43857

You deserved it

3882

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27764

You deserved it

11536

Favorite

By Chelstable - 2/8/2016 17:57

Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14573

You deserved it

1466

Favorite

By lockedoutbabysitter - 9/3/2010 17:19 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30861

You deserved it

9521

Favorite

By derped-out sperm - 1/4/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks

48981

You deserved it

5896

Favorite

By nick - 24/7/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31388

You deserved it

12569

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/6/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77922

You deserved it

14894

Favorite

By rained - 2/2/2009 05:44 - Hong Kong

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51252

You deserved it

7640

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/8/2013 00:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29147

You deserved it

43574

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/9/2014 16:06 - Belgium - Poperinge

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39047

You deserved it

3883

Favorite

By Joey - 7/5/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

95716

You deserved it

5208

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By lantz4levi | 19

#6649028 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:09

It could be worse. Could have stomped you after

By siggy_mcsigx | 22

#6649053 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:37

When you felt embarrassed, your consternation wavered and the horse sensed it. Stay focused and confident. :)

Comments

By lantz4levi | 19

#6649028 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:09

It could be worse. Could have stomped you after

By mackdeezy | 21

#6649030 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:12

Giddyup??

By ilytyvm | 25

#6649035 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:16

I suppose your horse couldn't take all the pressure.

By cheyluvsturtles | 30

#6649039 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:20

animals do have a way when it comes to doing the wrong things at the wrong time. I'm guessing your horse has that skill

By zezili | 18

#6649042 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:22

A client?

rodeogal101 | 9

#6650809 - Saturday 16 July 2016 1:17

A possible client, or someone who would want my training or riding services.

By siggy_mcsigx | 22

#6649053 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 9:37

When you felt embarrassed, your consternation wavered and the horse sensed it. Stay focused and confident. :)

By Tomato_Cheese | 22

#6649079 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 10:17

Tell it to stop horsing around!

By MissKylie | 24

#6649107 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 10:57

I think one thing all equestrians can agree on is that random things can and will happen, especially at shows where everyone is stressed and excited. I'm sure a simple explanation of what happened will be enough for your client, as these things do happen, and (usually) aren't an indicator of your training abilities. I hope you and your horse are uninjured, and wish you luck at future rodeos!

By Greycatsister | 12

#6649114 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 11:09

Your horse was like, "A good trainer, eh? Haha, not today, pal."

By species4872 | 19

#6649132 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 12:01

yeah sure.