Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

The Lovecats

Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML

Work together!

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

Feline logic

Today, it’s 3 a.m. and my cat is shredding the padded door of her box, wanting to get out. I would be sympathetic if not for the fact that she has a perfectly good cat flap on the other side of that box, so she can go outside whenever she wants. FML

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

Today, I learned the hisses of my 3 cats so I can tell who starts the fights. FML

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

Cats are Satan's Minions

Today, I learned that our cats love to knock over glasses and cups, particularly if they have liquid in them. The latest victim of their antics? My expensive computer keyboard. FML

Haunted house

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

Caturday surprise

Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML