By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City
The Top
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By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 22:59 - Canada - Port Moody
By lovefool - 12/01/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom
By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada
Life decisions
By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05
By bdayboy - 11/01/2011 09:17 - United States
Not helping
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 04:00 - United States - Brooklyn
By GladYoureConcerned - 30/12/2014 18:15 - United States - Glendale
Blurry time?
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 16:00
Cutting corners
By HALIFAAA - 28/12/2014 13:56 - Germany - Braunschweig
By whitey - 09/01/2011 11:11 - Australia
By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States
Gifted
By kbrider - 02/07/2009 20:37 - United States
Highway code
By lucy the witch - 20/02/2023 14:00
The shame
By Dave - 12/07/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury
By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States
Freudian slip
By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 14:00
Tis the season…
By evil Santa - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Solon
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Portland
By dibman - 07/01/2011 09:11 - United Kingdom
Hey guys, check this out
By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States
By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey
By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 22:35 - United Kingdom
By handlin - 14/01/2010 06:45 - Mexico
By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada
Decisions, decisions
By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 08:46 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States
My new friend
By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 13:58
Keywords
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.