Dude, this isn’t a personal attack or whatever you think it is. It’s not even SLIGHTLY about you. It’s a midlife CRISIS for a reason. She’s anxious about no longer having the endless possibilities of youth and about entering a new phase of life, about no longer being conventionally pretty in a culture that tells women that they are no longer people in their own right when they’re not young and childfree anymore. I can only hope that when a midlife crisis inevitably hits you, your loved ones will be miles more empathetic towards you than you are to your wife.

Not about you.

That sounds like stress talking. Instead of making it about yourself and how poor you are be there for her. Take her out help her give some down time. With you or with friends. Let her breath before it's too late. Or in a short time you'll wake up to a wife that actually think you ruined her life.