Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burglarized. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML
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Top comments
emer_helena 0
It's your sister, you shouldn't need to search for something to say. You should just argue about the first thing that comes to mind like most siblings!
greendaygirl999 5
Burgled?
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Comments (130)
drano 0
wow
paperfox_fml 0
You kind of fail. =/
greendaygirl999 5
Burgled?
ilikepie789 0
is that even a word?
hellokittywhore 0
I don't think it is, I think it Is burglarized. don't wanna be the next snckerdoddle tho. lol I love that show but apperently not as much as you do, ya freak!!! lol jkk
blankaex 0
British: Burgled American: Burglarized
TheMegaFridge 0
yeah what ever happend to that bitch anyway?
himan235 0
fail you have no friends
may_cause_fail 0
YDI for watching Desperate Housewives. Double YDI for not being able to remember that it's a TV show.
noobgang7 5
hey I love that show
perfectbride14 7
Hey it's an amazing show!!
guitardedman 0
hmm perhaps leave the house and socialize once in a while? if you can't separate things youve seen on tv from your actual life, your shit is weak and needs to change
kfnnnp 0
Wow. Your life really is ******. Not because of the one event, just your life in general, if you know what i mean =/
lazyyygirl 0
yeah, and my best friend is tila tequila. Oh those crazy nights we've had, like when she picked bobby to be her boyfriend! Good times, good times.
onemoreweekend 0
O_o uhm...... just.....wow
jakerman3 0
i agree with #5
emer_helena 0
It's your sister, you shouldn't need to search for something to say. You should just argue about the first thing that comes to mind like most siblings!