Money: Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got...

By anon - 04/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 110

You deserved it 2 710

Money

Compromises

Good kid

Bodyshaming

Clean up in aisle 3 please

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, despite my asking her several times, my mom seems incapable of putting dog food in a bowl. She just throws it on the floor, where you step on it, slip on it, the doors get stuck on it and the tiles are now full of greasy dog food crumbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 74

By Tasji - 27/07/2009 06:24 - Canada

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 80 873

By anonymous - 03/08/2009 07:37 - Taiwan

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 411

You deserved it 5 025

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 1 831

Flattery will get you nowhere

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 14:02

Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 6 510

By please_no - 16/03/2010 14:40 - United States

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 485

You deserved it 3 333

By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 3 707

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 13:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 988

You deserved it 9 969

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 23:09 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 559

You deserved it 2 598

A sand castle

By Roasted Marshmallows - 07/11/2019 03:30

Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 130

By ohgodwhy - 10/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 5 110

By Sam - 03/02/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 566

You deserved it 4 244

By Badhairday - 11/06/2015 23:14 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 692

You deserved it 4 104

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 16:01 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 195

You deserved it 4 209

Bachelor party

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 18:00

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 417

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:59 - United States - Deatsville

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 3 479

By Renter - 24/03/2011 14:54 - United States

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 611

You deserved it 2 753

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 065

You deserved it 4 024

By lolwut - 15/01/2012 18:17 - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 13 781

By DeepTaccer - 30/10/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 034

You deserved it 6 269

By thatoneperson - 17/02/2012 12:43 - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 354

You deserved it 5 883

By LongDriveNoSleep - 24/05/2016 10:38 - United States - Washington

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 044

You deserved it 1 330

By Anonymous - 19/02/2012 11:17 - United States

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 889

You deserved it 3 959

Sensual moment

By Ekh0es - 11/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Garfield

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 1 774

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 053

You deserved it 17 563

By .......... - 07/06/2015 09:46 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 452

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 18:01 - United States - Corona

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 914

You deserved it 4 660

By hungry - 08/03/2012 19:15 - Canada

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 419

You deserved it 3 182

By somebody - 01/06/2015 03:37 - United States

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 126

You deserved it 2 237

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 131

You deserved it 119 115

By boobmilk - 08/03/2018 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 833

You deserved it 304

By djangle - 02/11/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 220

You deserved it 17 029

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 04:51 - Australia - Forestville

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 2 072

Left behind

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, it was my best friend's birthday party. Her boyfriend and I agreed to organize a dinner date to surprise her and celebrate. They celebrated, but forgot me until they arrived at the restaurant and saw the dinner reservation under my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 131

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 399

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 365

You deserved it 13 221

By badidea - 23/12/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 680

You deserved it 10 069

By Karansuni - 14/10/2013 10:38 - Germany

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 029

You deserved it 3 370

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 246

You deserved it 4 001

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Top comments

Jewelofagal 2

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:15

For some people, $60 can mean the difference between having groceries to eat and gas in the car for a week versus not. As a struggling student in my early 20's so broke I was wearing shoes with holes in the sole and eating Ramen every night, receiving $60 for my birthday would have been a huge blessing. I understand the OP's dismay at not being able to cash the check.

eighty_five 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 22:52

Please excuse Brad's stupidity. Not all of us Americans are inconsiderate dickheads.

Jewelofagal 2

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:15

metallicarnage 0

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Wednesday 17 August 2011 8:20

ramens actually pretty good.

rupertajm90 15

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Monday 14 March 2016 17:36

OP could endorse the check over to himself and then deposit the check in the bank, banks usually make the first 100 available

DoomJeff91 2

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:26

Maybe you forgot your aunt's name?

bradg 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:29

cheque rofl its check retard

britleaf 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:32

can you read? the op is from australia. they spell things different in different parts of the world.

Fop 6

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:42

Before you correct others, adress your own spelling mistakes. cheque: You should've capitalize the "C", it's the beginning of your sentence. its: If you're an American and confuse the words "it's" and "its" you're an idiot. That said, it's supposed to be "it's." You also forgot a full stop.

eighty_five 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 22:52

Please excuse Brad's stupidity. Not all of us Americans are inconsiderate dickheads.

GirlFromAus 0

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Saturday 5 December 2009 1:51

AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS R DIFFERENT 2 UR FKING AMERICAN DOLLARS! its 'queensland, australia', where money is worth something different to florida or wherever you live

chinCHILLaOUT 0

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Saturday 5 December 2009 4:39

^5 To that!

omgitsgabby 0

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Thursday 30 December 2010 16:28

Dear Fop, **address.

tnigz 3

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Saturday 4 June 2011 20:22

fuken idiot

Do_The_DANCE 4

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Thursday 30 June 2011 17:21

Ignorance for the loss.

Mx_Rider 6

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:32

ehh dont listen to that slut kaysl, she has her panties in a bunch ^---^

KaySL 24

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:46

Correction, all you sluts' panties are getting my feet tangled up. Pull 'em up and have some self-respect, girls!

The_Pleb 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:54

Kay girls should only use there mouth and hands for one reason Now go make us a sammich good girl

KaySL 24

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Friday 4 December 2009 23:18

Oh, how highly original and amusing, Pleb. I'm rocked to the spiritual core by your razor-sharp wit *YAWN* That's just about the only response you'll win from me for a while, little man.

cgy 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 20:51

Two options: 1) "Hey Auntie , you must've stuck the wrong cheque in the envelope. Whoop! Could you write me a new one?" 2) Endorse the back of the cheque with the name she put on. As long as your Aunt doesn't call the bank claiming fraud, you should be fine. ;) Hardly the end of the world, or a FML moment.

lil_ham1644 29

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Friday 27 June 2014 20:33

You need a driver's license to cash a check. The name on the check won't match her ID.

cheerthefkupism 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 22:13

I have a long name & family even misspell it, so I go by a nickname. I've had family write checks out to my real name & misspell it. I've had family write checks out to my nickname. You have to endorse the check first with the name they wrote. -THEN- below it you have to endorse it again with your actual name. This lets the bank know that there was a mistake, but puts your real name on it too.

musicislife1995_fml 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 23:41

what a lovely family :)

yeahreally 6

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Friday 4 December 2009 23:48

welcome to my world! my own family (like aunts and uncles) cant get my name spelled right...*sigh* but just ask if she can write another one?

hercules268 0

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Friday 4 December 2009 23:55

So it's spelt cheque in Australia. Interesting. It's check over here. Regardless, there's always one thing that we all can understand and that's Beer. So lets all have a pint and be happy.