The Top

This wasn't the first time something like this happens and it never hurt me until now because we graduated. I just felt bad cause I won't be friends with anyone from school anymore, and maybe that I won't have a chance to get my revenge.

Denial

By blah - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 3 117

By SquirrellyGirl - 15/07/2019 22:00

Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 01/07/2014 21:41 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 597

You deserved it 3 755

By LC - 03/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 7 258

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 06:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 282

You deserved it 2 383

By H4rd_Man - 01/11/2009 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 124

You deserved it 2 806

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The Top

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 954

You deserved it 4 491

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 685

You deserved it 39 427

Today, I no longer need an alarm clock. My cat has learned to jump on my boobs at precisely 7:30 every morning. If I don't get up immediately, she just keeps jumping on my boobs. I'm an E cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 392

Today, a patient in the emergency department insisted on needing a treatment, and got mad at me when I told him it was nonsense. His "proof" was a Tik Tok-video he once saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 116

Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 161

Today, is it wrong that i was a dating a man and everything was going good, until him saw him on Grindr? Is it bad for me to still want him? To have sex him? To have him be my baby daddy? Knowing he likes dick too? Help! Help me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 462