Life decisions
By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05
By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05
By bdayboy - 11/01/2011 09:17 - United States
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 04:00 - United States - Brooklyn
By GladYoureConcerned - 30/12/2014 18:15 - United States - Glendale
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 16:00
By HALIFAAA - 28/12/2014 13:56 - Germany - Braunschweig
By whitey - 09/01/2011 11:11 - Australia
By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States
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By lucy the witch - 20/02/2023 14:00
By Dave - 12/07/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury
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By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 14:00
By evil Santa - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Solon
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Portland
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By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States
By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey
By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 22:35 - United Kingdom
By handlin - 14/01/2010 06:45 - Mexico
By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada
By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 08:46 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States
By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 13:58
By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 06:00
By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale
By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 00:00 - United States
By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens
Keywords
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.