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Hello everyone, OP here. I feel like I need to clear something up, and that's living in the Middle East does not mean I am from the Middle East. I repeat, not from Qatar. Also, Muslim or otherwise, Arab girls have the complete freedom to refuse marriage as they see fit. Not that there aren't exceptions to that, but for the most part girls are far more autonomous nowadays. To whoever looked up stuff on the internet, I'd like to say for a fact that it is 100% untrue. To clear up my situation, I'd like to point out I'm a very ritualistic person and my birthday means a lot to me. Seeing as my mother and I have never gotten along, and frankly don't like each other very much, her way to sabotage my birthday was to bribe this Sir Asshole McLoser to marry me. I've made my disinterest very clear so for those rooting that I give it a shot, please don't. I'm turning 23 and I think I'm going to wait a few years before considering resorting to arranged courtships and the like. Thanks for whoever wished me a happy birthday! P.S. Mr. Bastard, I've always had a thing for your sense of humor, I'm sure we could make something work.

By nosrepamai82 - 26/07/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 660

You deserved it 6 009

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 443

You deserved it 22 899

By MBean - 24/10/2013 18:04 - Anguilla - The Valley

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 572

You deserved it 28 198

By he's mine - 14/11/2012 07:46 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 966

You deserved it 1 881

By Unknown - 09/02/2010 05:50 - United States

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 711

You deserved it 35 220

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 686

You deserved it 53 210

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 16:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 456

You deserved it 13 210

By Epic_failz - 10/02/2015 15:53 - United States - Jackson

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 649

You deserved it 5 816

Epic_failz tells us more.

Epic_failz 7

Wednesday 11 February 2015 4:05

There are no cameras in that place...at all, its stupid as hell, but there is not a single camera in there.

By notababymama - 07/02/2010 17:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 012

You deserved it 3 609

By Anonymous - 02/01/2009 18:06 - France

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 452

You deserved it 3 522

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 046

You deserved it 4 397

By lucas - 12/12/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 627

You deserved it 3 184

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 02:00

Today, I asked my husband how much he loved me and he refused to answer, because he was convinced I was using some unfair logic to start an argument, simply because I wanted to argue over something, anything. I later realised he was probably right. I’m an awful person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 779

By Screwed in Seattle - 05/02/2011 16:13 - United States

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 5 483

By emogurl - 22/07/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 940

You deserved it 28 201

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 11 425

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 572

You deserved it 2 536

Impressive

By hisgirl4life - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 529

You deserved it 8 862

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 228

You deserved it 1 602

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 567

You deserved it 2 801

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 675

You deserved it 8 405

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 3 350

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 084

You deserved it 683

Today, I found out my son has been ditching his Zoom classes. He claims he couldn’t connect because of "technical difficulties." I can’t believe he seriously expected me to believe that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 146