By LucklessNiceGuy - 05/12/2011 07:22 - United States
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@35, it's only creepy if you don't really know your female co-workers. I'm super ugly but I tease most of the women I work with all the time, and they all like it, especially the older ones >_>. But if I'm working with someone I barely know, I'm not gonna be like "Hey, I'm Shepard, can I massage your feet?" THAT is creepy. To me, it sounds like the OP didn't really know the chicks, hence he came off as a creep.
From a girl perspective very true. I joke with my male coworkers all the time, but we've known each other for years and are very much like a family. If someone we didn't know very well started offering me massages and continually calling me flattering things the other guys would be the first people I'd run to with 'this guy is creepily coming on to me' stories. And once a girl is a bit creeped out it only gets worse, never better.
Actually, now that I think about it, if one of my coworker 'brothers' offered me a foot rub I'd be all wtf??! My response to them would be something along the lines of eww, you want to touch my feet?! Weirdo. Then we'd forget about it. I'd be a bit weirded out if my actual brothers offered that. Back rubs yes, but foot rubs are a bit more intimate. And one of my real brothers is actually a remedial masseuse. Sorry OP, but you are a bit creepy.
Perhaps it's just the conservative religionist in me, but... even though I'm a fellow male, I have to agree that this would be harassment unless they're close friends. I would not jokingly offer my coworkers the opportunity to let me squeeze their feet, nor would I say they are attractive. It seems far too much like you are hitting on them.
Looks like my previous comment was deleted (or there's a glitch not showing it now), but regardless: I'd like to amend my previous post. While I still think it's harassment, I didn't notice that you were fired (I misunderstood and thought it said you were told not to harass them). That was overkill.
@193 I disagree. Seeing that your coworker is depressed and saying something like "I love your new haircut" or "Those shoes look really nice on you" or even "You look extra pretty today" is okay. And when someone complains about their feet hurting there's nothing wrong with jokingly offering them a foot massage. People make jokes like that all the time. If it bothers you when he offers, stop complaining about your feet around him, problem solved! Or just tell him it bothers you. I've had two of my male friends had jobs were older women pinched their butts and called them cutie. One of them it happened to almost daily, and the other only once or twice. That is sexual harrassment, not "You look nice today".
This is ops point of view however, which is incredibly motivated by being...well, for being op. In reality he may be licking their toes and groping them whenever he sees a woman. Probably not, but I'm just saying you shouldn't take one guy's point of view on something like this. So YDI/FYL.
Accusing someone of harassment is a pretty big thing. I'd have to be really really creeped out to even mention something like that to my boss, but like I've mentioned in a previous post, once initially creeped out a girl isn't easily un-creeped. If OP scared one of them and then didn't read the 'back off' signals and kept behaving in a creepy way then she might have been concerned enough to make an official complaint. The company probably has a zero tolerance policy, although op should have known about this and been a bit more careful. I guess he's just not great at reading people.
Haha, if youre sexy looking and do it, then girls are like "I think he might just like me! :)" whether they know him much or not. If there's an ugly guy who does it then girls are like "ewww! he's creeping on me and I want him to stop! D:" unless you're pretty close to them. So pretty much as long as you're hot you should be good to go- heck, you could probably get away with nearly anything as long as you're hot!
It has less to do with looks than you think. I had a manager that could get away with saying the dirtiest things to all the women in the office and we all adored him. Trust me when I say that he wasn't much to look at. He is one of those guys that could say what he wanted, when he wanted and no one felt uncomfortable. Unless you have that ability(and not many people do), rather don't risk it.
Damn, I probably get groped 2000 times a day at my job... Although I am a stripper. Either way fyl
I understand completely OP. I am an openly gay guy and got fired from my last for supposedly flirting with 16 year old girls...? Yeah. No thanks.