The Top

Haha, thanks for the support everyone. To add to my FML story, my ex knew by our third date that I go shooting. I found out from our mutual friend that he didn't think I was "cheap and dangerous" until his ex before me (at a party where I was unable to attend) started talking trash when she overheard him telling a couple of buddies that I shoot targets and reload my own shells. I'm 22, I have a full time job, and I have my own 2 bd apartment and a truck payment (among other bills). If I can save a little money, I will. Traveling for competitions and entry fees can get expensive. The thing that makes me laugh is his ex is my age, works about 15 hours a week, and has all her bills paid by her parents (she doesn't go to school or anything either). She uses the cash she earns to buy expensive clothing and what not (which according to her, I could "never afford"). Sorry I have different priorities in my life? Lol. As an update, two of my ex's friends (and yes, this includes his best friend) have asked me out since our breakup. My ex also sent a txt to me this morning saying that he messed up. I guess his friends talked some sense in to him. It's too late though. Goes to show that you probably shouldn't take advice from a jealous ex girlfriend. Just saying.

Nice

By notestojenn - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Manchester

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 2 162

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 03:28 - Canada

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 581

You deserved it 16 258

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 4 630

By B_McG - 25/11/2009 18:31 - Canada

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 899

You deserved it 2 929

Send help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 10:00

Today, it's my fifth month with my grandmother-in-law living with me and my partner. She's the most toxic, manipulative person I've ever met in my life. I have no idea when she's leaving. I literally run into rooms when I hear her coming downstairs so I don't have to talk to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 147

Oh oh, he's back

By fubuggie - 14/06/2013 05:57 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 566

You deserved it 5 052

By JDBigDawg - 02/07/2012 07:23 - United States - Orange

Today, I was at the airport and I offered to help an elderly man carry his golf clubs. Apparently, I sounded sarcastic and condescending, because he started screaming at me about etiquette and manners in front of the entire airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 146

You deserved it 2 383

JDBigDawg tells us more.

JDBigDawg 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:49

THAT WAS THE AIRPORT. Wow nice guess!

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 14:37 - United States

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 026

You deserved it 27 749

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 18:00

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me because she was moving to Wyoming. I guess Wyoming is code for my friend's apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 144

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 720

You deserved it 2 998

By JuniorDetective - 07/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 445

You deserved it 17 858

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 18:00

Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 1 081

By Bookworm - 05/06/2013 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 956

You deserved it 4 395

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 931

Quite the journey

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 10:58 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I begrudgingly helped relocate my 84-year-old mother-in-law to our home at my partner's adamant request. It took months of stressful preparation, around $10,000 in costs, and some 500 km travelled via medical transport. Ten minutes after arriving, she had a heart attack and died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 208

By Muwz - 13/08/2014 04:28 - France

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 530

You deserved it 9 783

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 10:33 - Australia

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 532

You deserved it 17 233

Gossip and tea

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 3 539

By thesmartone - 21/06/2012 03:44 - United States

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 037

You deserved it 4 839

By jakethed0g - 10/08/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 393

You deserved it 3 075

The customer is always an ass

By muffins - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 690

You deserved it 4 687

Empathy black hole

By shellbom - 17/11/2009 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 4 039

By Deirbhile - 03/05/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 819

You deserved it 7 083

Father of the year

By Harvey knicks grandad - 10/02/2021 22:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 269

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 032

You deserved it 4 077

By Anonymous - 02/05/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 404

You deserved it 88 080

Pet detective

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 679

You deserved it 20 710

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Parenting Work Parents Family Awkward Intimacy Weird AITA Kids Health Doctor Painful Moving home Transportation Miscellaneous Vacation Embarrassing LGBTQIA+ Love Religion Annoying Money Mysterious Gross Delivery Instagram Facebook My ex Social Media

The Top

Today, after working my ass off for 2 months, receiving perfect reviews, and going out of my way to take on extra work to get a job offer from the location where I temp, I finally got an offer for a permanent position. Included in the offer was a $3.00 an hour pay cut and no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 948

You deserved it 718

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 3 933

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 455

You deserved it 5 764

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 797

You deserved it 2 809

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 5 006

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 415