By artist - 29/03/2013 11:12 - Czech Republic - Prague
The Top
By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 04:43 - United States
Sick moves, bro
By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates
By Anonymous - 17/03/2015 21:11 - United States
Get it on
By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins
Weird, huh?
By Sam - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City
Ball of fur and claws
By angrypetowner - 29/03/2016 03:24 - United States - Warrensburg
ESPN Love
By pieceofcake163 - 29/12/2009 08:59 - United States
Priorities
By sprained neck - 24/11/2015 05:49
Losing it
By IamHM - 24/10/2015 18:04 - United States
By Eli123 - 01/05/2009 00:52 - United States
By Anonymous - 23/06/2014 22:59 - United States - Imperial
Empathetic panic
By Anonymous - 20/05/2014 16:31 - Singapore - Singapore
By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 18:39 - Canada - Red Deer
Goldfinger
By itzcorinnelove - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By evenmybodyhatesme - 15/05/2016 06:47 - United States - San Jose
By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles
Sorry, man
By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham
Snow day confusion
By hehe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 23:19 - United States - Topeka
By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville
Let's say, hypothetically…
By Anonymous - 08/12/2014 04:35 - United States - Long Beach
Flattery?
By theuglyone - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Port Perry
By drew - 18/12/2010 20:22 - United States
By merissa22 - 01/09/2012 17:37 - United States - Chicago
merissa22 tells us more.
By Betrayed - 27/08/2012 06:11 - United States
Help! I need somebody! Anybody!
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)
By Ihadnoidea - 12/12/2015 19:41 - Canada - Ottawa
Keywords
nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help