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"It's what you'd look like if you weren't so damned beautiful." Instant pickup-line.

I spent two hours shading your upper lip

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But this time do it Picasso style!

Back to the drawing board!

Paint me like one of your French girls ;)

Do you mean like my paintings of French girls or the French girls I own that are locked up in a basement?

I think you're the one who has been locked up.

"It's what you'd look like if you weren't so damned beautiful." Instant pickup-line.

Instant rejection line, you mean. You need to get out more. Watch and learn from top commenter #2

"Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend."

A loving girlfriend would love it for all the effort you put into it. Sorry OP :/

I spent two hours shading your upper lip

Don't forget the unibrow, it takes a while to get the caterpillar motion correct

Day 2: The Breakup

"This is to tell you I'd love you even if you looked like this"

She sounds lovely... I bet it was fine! Don't worry bout it.