Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
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Top comments
abNormal62 23
So apparently, neither of you were completely stable when this occurred?
Hidghetti 14
I would've done the same thing
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Comments (68)
Hidghetti 14
I would've done the same thing
wtffml1979 22
Good thing that reflex wasn't apart of coming around swinging.
uglyheadedbitch 20
Exactly, I'd do the exact same thing, it's a habit, but as long as you apologized, I'm sure nobody would be offended
StantheMan93 12
Then did your show get canceled OP? Sounds like a heartbreaking and familiar story.
abNormal62 23
So did you fit both feet or only one foot in your mouth with that comment
Steffi3 40
'out of reflex'. You sounds nice
tswizz 13
It would've felt like someone was trying to rob her. As if she was going to turn around politely ask them not to.
granCanyon 12
And what's your reflex when you feel like someone's trying to steal your bag? "Excuse-me sir, are you aware that stealing is a crime? Please do not force me to call the police"?
wtffml1979 22
Ummm you sounds nice too. Thanks yous for respondin:)
Brandi_Faith 34
The "out of reflex" part makes it sound like op says this all the time. How many times have people tried to steal your purse op?
taybear0 14
if OP lives in an urban area where streets are crowded, robbing or pick-pocketing is probably very common
cristy91 33
swiper no swiping usually works too
russfml 31
I'm Canadian and I find this comment offensive, you can only be so polite!
abNormal62 23
So apparently, neither of you were completely stable when this occurred?
Liamj774 36
Well I mean I can understand reflexes when your bag is pulled off but I feel as if that was an overreaction
Weiss_Schnee 14
OMG. You're in Britain so the tutting you must has received would be shameful.
Mauskau 36
No one tuts anymore, OP just felt like they were being robbed. Any normal person would react badly to that.
stevenN659 24
Call me crazy, but what in the hell is tutting?
Thor1012 28
You know the clicking sound you make with your tongue against top of your mouth?
Frillwee95 12
At least you didn't perform a judo chop and break his neck. The way I see it is that two people walked away unharmed from a potentially fatal encounter.
kieralumina 30
exactly. some of us have this reflex where our arm just lashes out and elbows then punches/scratches the potential attacker. I'd rather defend myself then apologize for falsely thinking you were a threat than just stand there and let you rob me or whatever.
Brandi_Faith 34
The fighting back reaction could actually get you killed though if your attacker has a weapon. So it may not be the wisest reaction, especially from behind, if you can't see if they have one or not. Just a thought.
sdroze1389 31
there is no such thing as a judo chop, it's a wrestling style.
kikoma 32
That sounds awful, however, most of us would have done the same, or something even more rude.
natashamilan 13
I bet you felt so bad afterwards. Don't stress about it too much though, because the best of us would've done something like that. I hope you cleared things up with the old man!
lizabethp 11
In sure once you realized, the end result wasn't all that bad..
julia2750 11
Plot twist: he actually was trying to steal your bag