By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 13:31 - United States - Akron
The Top
Haute cuisine
By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States
By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama
By schoolkiddo - 08/09/2010 07:35 - Australia
By drunkinriot - 03/07/2011 23:04 - United States
By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 06:19 - United States - New Castle
Drama!
By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States
By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved
By mtr1594 - 31/07/2013 06:47 - United States - Henderson
mtr1594 tells us more.
By Amberain - 16/08/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes
By smiles22 - 27/11/2010 06:38 - United States
By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark
By cunts, cunts everywhere - 11/03/2013 11:57 - Australia
By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 07:07 - United States
Thanks
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn
By ClydeBarrow - 29/08/2009 23:44 - United States
ClydeBarrow tells us more.
He refused to go with me on vacation because he said that Italy was too hot. You can ask him why he didn't want to go. I put the chicken in a container and handed it to him because I figured if he wanted to keep it lying around the house while I was gone, he wouldn't mind eating it while he was finding a place that would take his lazy ass in.
By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 01:27 - United States
By whoreticulturalist - 27/10/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth
By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States
The sad truth
By Soulara89 - 23/12/2014 01:28 - United States - Orlando
By PuddlePirate - 07/09/2012 16:23 - United States - Mountain Iron
By reb2632 - 29/05/2009 20:13 - United States
By KMROYALShottie - 27/05/2009 04:50 - United States
Sorry…
By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 21:07 - United States
Three's company
By cllutz - 07/02/2011 03:18 - United States
What are you doing?
By Ghostie - 02/07/2009 09:15 - United States
By Rapunzel1974 - 01/09/2013 04:29 - United States - Gulfport
Rapunzel1974 tells us more.
I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner
Alarm
By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States
By BerzerkelyBongBabe - 23/08/2011 21:55 - United States
Keywords
Hey, it's me, OP. So this isn't the first time he's sleep talked before. Occasionally he'll moan, or like the other night, mutter something about eating Nutella. Anyway. This is the first time it scared the bejesus out of me and the first time he opened his eyes. Usually I ask him about it the next morning and he has no idea and wants to know what he said. This morning it was the same response. When I asked what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming that he was a bad ass drug lord apparently. I think we've been watching too much Weeds, the TV show...