Health: Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair...

By drunkinriot - 03/07/2011 23:04 - United States

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 279

You deserved it 3 054

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Same thing different taste

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 38 483

By Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 476

You deserved it 698

By fthislyfe - 02/07/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 352

You deserved it 7 951

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 2 233

Fisticuffs

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 14:01

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 1 362

By Dude_Stop - 27/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 258

You deserved it 331

By Anonymous - 06/06/2012 18:21 - United States

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 589

You deserved it 24 381

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 003

You deserved it 3 875

Hammered

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother-in-law wanted a boxing match, which was the last thing I wanted since he’s a trained boxer. The last thing I expected was to knock him out cold on my first swing. My wife is now mad at me because he’s sulking, and I “could have held back to be a good sport.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 84

Suspicious minds

By Hugh - 03/04/2021 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 162

Thisismypchere 8

Monday 4 July 2011 8:33

Shit that sucks. I'm sorry, what an idiot

GuidoCheese 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:36

Oh hell yes! I used to think the shows were real back then so I tried to imitate some of the moves. Two broken arms, a broken rib, and a broken finger later, I began to suspect something was up.

Comments

Tessa39 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:32

haha that sucks

Thisismypchere 8

Monday 4 July 2011 8:33

Shit that sucks. I'm sorry, what an idiot

Jojo08_fml 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:39

he didn't know the shows were fake or he was just too drunk to remember

KingGeorgeGal 12

Monday 4 July 2011 9:25

Now return the favor (:

davex 0

Monday 4 July 2011 9:56

Old enough to get drunk but too dumb to realize those are fake? Now that's a bad combination.

RetardedBullFrog 4

Monday 4 July 2011 10:17

Now you have to make him realize that he will not withstand being slammed on the back with a metal ladder, like on wrestling shows.

enonymous 8

Monday 4 July 2011 10:44

Oooooooo YEAH!! DIG IT... What u need to do is snap into a slim jim 20 of those will give your the extra body fat to absorb the chair shots

maz255 10

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:36

R.I.P macho man :(

FMLaddict20 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 7:28

or he was just drunk?

ArentICute 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:58

Except this time your mighty weapon is the fridge.

phillsand 1

Monday 4 July 2011 8:33

Not a smart one is he?

volley4eva1698 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:42

not the brightest bulb, sharpest pencil, fluffiest bunny, colorful rainbow, biggest penis, sharpest tool in the shed...

DropDead77 11

Monday 4 July 2011 8:58

save us some comparisons..

Jammy01jams 2

Monday 4 July 2011 15:38

the intelligence is not strong with this one...

Emma_4312 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:34

ouch... D:

MrFraser25 2

Monday 4 July 2011 21:48

there fake? :'( all my dreams... wasted

WOTM 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 1:03

84- yea, some is real but they act out the fight before going in the ring, they plan who is going to win

WaywardDaughter 26

Saturday 2 February 2013 18:35

And most of the props (like a chair) is made special...easy to break and not a huge amount of pain

mhinaj 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:35

ifailplzinsultme 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

ifailplzinsultme 0

Monday 4 July 2011 9:40

You guys took bad pun alert to heart didn't you?

ed11 1

Monday 4 July 2011 19:12

boooo

Kayokku 1

Monday 4 July 2011 21:22

Your profile picture makes up for it.

FurryPride 9

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:18

Agreed 83

LikeaPRESIDENT 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:19

puns aren't suppose to be bad....

BaconDave 12

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:53

I thought puns were supposed to be bad.

dabears1011234 27

Friday 8 August 2014 19:53

That wasn't even a pun.

GuidoCheese 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:36

Oh hell yes! I used to think the shows were real back then so I tried to imitate some of the moves. Two broken arms, a broken rib, and a broken finger later, I began to suspect something was up.

iWantSprite 12

Monday 4 July 2011 8:52

Lmao u BEGAN? Shit after the arms I would have been done.

GuidoCheese 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:58

My friends and I used to do crazy shit when we were younger. Jump off trees and create our own fireworks show; you can't do that anymore. Everything is illegal now. What's considered a free country is now binding us citizens to their brainwashing system doing their bidding. Meh.

chili10 18

Monday 4 July 2011 9:29

it's unbelievable that any of us can live in a society where all dangerous things are illegal. Or, maybe that's the point?

cc_the_beast 6

Monday 4 July 2011 11:33

It's about gaining the ability to take calculated risks. You need to do stupid things in order to learn to not do stupid things.

PYLrulz 17

Monday 4 July 2011 12:09

it's called "covering asses". With everybody so willing to sue at the drop of the hat (oh, my hat wasn't supposed to drop like that, I'm gonna sue!!!), certain things have to be watched over.

awardZu 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:11

I agree with 53, and 54 has a point too. I did some crazy shit growing up, and it taught me my limits. However, now, if you try to, say, jump off the roof onto the trampoline... You can file frivolous lawsuits on the manufacturers of everything involved.

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 4 July 2011 8:39

I've wanted to do something like that for an incredibly long time. It has been one of my goals to be on Friday Night Smackdown. I'd be one of those guys that takes the guitar, and smashes it over the other dude's head. Then, when he is down on the ground, I will climb up on the side of the ring an bodyslam him.