The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Mysterious

By Wifewithquestions - 27/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I found male enhancers hidden in the back of the car, which I'm assuming are my husband's, but we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 719

You deserved it 383

You probably can say them here

By A little help - 15/01/2024 00:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, I went on a few websites to ask for donations for a cheap car part, due to my husband not able to work due to COVID, and we live paycheck to paycheck. I've never had so many only negative comments basically calling me a piece of crap and other words I can't say on here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 479

Smelly business

By skunkcat - 11/03/2020 21:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 1 782

Stuck with you

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 04:01

Today, I sent my abusive girlfriend a text, explaining I was breaking up with her via text because I was afraid for my physical safety if I broke up with her in person. She video chatted me less than five seconds later from our doctor's office, where the doctor confirmed she is in fact pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 346

Knowledge is power

By mrnikc - 24/03/2020 02:04 - United States

Today, my mother told me the sun was the largest planet in the solar system. When I told her it was a star, she accused me of lying. We had to bring Google into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 148

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 18:01

Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 208

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 294

People person

By Validate me please - 22/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that having a "praise kink" is apparently not normal. I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought wanting validation was something that applied to everyone. How comforting it is to know that regularly seeking approval from others is considered abnormal. My mental health is real messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 190

This sucks

By dale - 21/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I’m 24. I can either be employed and have money, but having to work weekend nights and have scattered days off, or I can be unemployed and not have money to go out enjoy my city. I haven’t had a weekend to myself since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 413

Not in the mood

By Sad lady - 29/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with someone else, all because we haven’t had sex in a long time. He says, “Jerking off is too much work” and “I signed up to marry a human with a sex drive, not an emotionless robot.” He left out the fact that I’m grieving my mother’s death. Thanks for the support, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 404

Oh, hello there!

By secretmisery05 - 25/05/2020 17:00

Today, my husband and I waited until the TV shut off at 11 p.m. in the next room to signal his grandmother had retired to her bed upstairs. After doing it on a very squeaky bed, we went out naked half an hour later to go to the restroom across the hall, only to discover his Nana laying on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 724

Good morals, you say?

By ELinDawk - 31/08/2021 01:01

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 2 600

Crazy people

By NoHipster - 03/06/2020 05:02

Today, while I was waiting for a bus, a nutjob-looking dude walked up to me, then hissed, "You hipster scum, you don't even need those glasses," before forcibly removing them and snapping them in half. I was wearing regular clothes, and those prescription glasses cost me $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 150

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 22:00

Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 195

Lost

By bent & broken - 24/08/2018 23:30 - United States - Hot Springs Village

Today, I was lost on a dirt road when it started raining and I got stuck in the mud, so I walked 5 miles to a farm. They brought their tractor and pulled me out, but then my key broke off in the ignition. It's my birthday and I can't get home for the party my wife planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 319

Bitch ass move

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 05:05

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 651

You deserved it 241

Callous

By CancerFreeLoader - 02/10/2021 14:00

Today, I found out that the giant tumour on my leg isn’t cancerous or dangerous. My mom cried, and I was super relieved. Later on, I heard her on the phone in tears because now she won’t be able to get a free vacation or home renovations from the Make A Wish foundation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 87

By Sleuth - 02/09/2018 13:00

Today, I found out why my professor accused me of not handing in an important essay before the due date. Apparently she spilled coffee all over it and didn't dare to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 336

You deserved it 169

Do not attempt this at home

By PetiteLover - 28/12/2022 21:00

Today, I’m dating a petite girl, and I've had fantasies of picking her up and fucking her in midair. I attempted to try this fantasy last night. I'm now in the hospital with broken and bruised ribs and tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 669

Nice try, Doris

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law called my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, to try and persuade him to go to a funeral, because there would be cute girls there his age there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 127

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 560

Drama alert!

By I pray for the meteor - 13/01/2023 12:00

Today, one of the human-shaped piles of shit my restaurant serves found a hair in her food. Normally, these fuckwits piss and moan and demand free food, but this sack of filth turned out to be such a drama queen that she puked all over the table and cried so hard she needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 504

That stings

By Anonymous - 11/09/2018 03:30

Today, after 20 years together and 9 years of marriage, I found out that my husband has been having an affair with my cousin for 6 years. The same cousin who came over every Friday. Who he wanted to be godmother to our 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 710

You deserved it 255

Ungrateful, dude!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 249

Social pariah

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 12:00

Today, I talked to exactly 0.0 people on Christmas, 0.0 people on New Year's, and I just checked my phone: The last call I received from anyone other than work or my tenant was October 29th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 713

Spoke too soon

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 17:00

Today, we're right now at the hospital because my sister had a miscarriage. Last night I announced on Instagram that I was going to be aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 514

Conundrum

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 04:30 - Australia - Albury

Today, I'm in love with a beautiful Russian woman. We are so compatible. However, I'm in a relationship though, in which my partner won't touch me or tell me she loves me. I'm in trouble every day for anything and everything. I'm faithful even though I've only had sex maybe 5 times in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 958

Young love

By gee thanks - 04/11/2021 23:00

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 315

That ship has sailed

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 17:03

Today, I realized there’s no point in maintaining a friendship of 20 years. I stopped texting my friend three weeks ago and he never noticed. I texted him daily for at least the past ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 284

Mother nature's son

By Rita - 24/11/2021 10:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my son brought home a fawn, saying it’s his new pet. I objected and told him to put it back in the woods, because the mom deer must be worried. He threw a tantrum, told me to stop getting in the way of their "bond” and stormed off to his room with it. He’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 268

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Argument Transportation Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Pranks Awkward Relatable Parents Kids AITA Work Family Love Poopoo peepee Health Swimming pool My ex NSFW Sex Intimacy Money Raining Painful Medication Relationship advice Mental health Psychology Cats Animals

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 277

You deserved it 2 099

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 061

You deserved it 4 397

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 122

Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 485

Today, while still desperately trying to be civil to my ex for the sake of our kids, I went round to his flat and found him passed out drunk with his air pistol on the floor. He’d been using pictures of me as targets. I think "civil" might be a hopeless goal at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 178

Today, I was out with my girlfriend when my ex-father-in-law, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, saw us. I don’t know what he was doing out by himself, but he still thinks I’m married to his daughter, so when he saw us he thought I was cheating and knocked my tooth out with his walking stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 93