Today, I asked my husband to borrow his phone, since mine had died. His response was, “Well, you have a charger, use it.” When I reminded him that we weren’t at home, he screamed at me in front of everyone at the store, “I’m not letting you go through my phone and that’s final!” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband called and said he couldn’t make it home tonight from a party, because his car's battery had died and his friends didn’t have any jumper cables. When I offered to pick him up, he adamantly declined. I offered an Uber. Again, declined, and he got pissed, saying, “Stop worrying so much!” and hung up on me. FML
Today, I caught my husband saying, “Love you too, can’t wait to see you” on his phone. I asked him who he was talked to and he said, “my coworker Ricky.” When I asked to see his texts with “Ricky” he threw his phone out the fifth story window, saying “Oopsy!” He then threw a fit saying I owe him a new phone. FML
Today, six weeks post-partum, I asked my husband once again to help with the chores around the house. He got upset, threw my phone at me, and said, “Stop being inconsiderate, I just got home from work! Call your mom to help you or something! Shit!” and stormed out of the house. My mom passed last year; he knows this. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML
Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
Today, my husband broke the vase and smashed the chandelier in the hallway, all because I asked him who he was on the phone with. His exact words were, “Do you ever just mind your fucking business? Goddamn!” Oh, and he told me I have to buy a new vase and replace the chandelier. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TomeDr 25
RED FLAG!!
Brightside86 31
Makes me wonder how often OP goes through his phone. Feels like there's a point where regularly going through your SOs phone becomes overly invasive.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
TomeDr 25
RED FLAG!!
lalalaila777 24
is it too dramatic to respond back by grabbing said phone and throwing it out on the street smashing it to bits
Brightside86 31
Makes me wonder how often OP goes through his phone. Feels like there's a point where regularly going through your SOs phone becomes overly invasive.
mccuish 25
Huge 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
OH NO!! There's no way this doesn't mean bad things. Screams that he has something to hide, or else trust and anger issues. I'd bet all the money I have that it's the first. Good luck.
Rodville 28
Someone doesn’t want to get caught cheating.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Elmo learned a new word today! Elmo learned "affair"!