Intimacy, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: It's up there somewhere

It's up there somewhere

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 06:57 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, it was the first time my fiancé and I have been able to have sex in the daytime for ages. We have 2 kids under 2 who take up most of our time, so when we had the opportunity, we grabbed a condom and pounced. Everything was going well until he pulled out… and left the condom inside. Now we can’t find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 214

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 221

You deserved it 37 850

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 18 457

The grass is never greener

By Toolate - 21/12/2016 12:26

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 740

You deserved it 1 357

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 715

You never see that in those pornos (or so I'm told)

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 04:00

Today, while trying anal for the first time, my partner pulled out but the condom got stuck. It was left it dangling outta my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 360

One ring to…

By bchorror - 22/04/2020 02:00

Today, I went to take out my NuvaRing. To my surprise, I couldn’t find it. I’ve had unprotected sex almost every day this month. I don’t know when it fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 1 167

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 529

Get back here!

By frenchie12 - 24/03/2019 02:00

Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 574

No notice

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. Before we finished, we were interrupted by my ex dropping my daughter off with no notice. In my rush to answer the door, I hopped off my boyfriend. The condom came off inside me. After a few minutes of feeling around, I pulled the condom out, and discovered I was on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 334

By me. - 01/12/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 552

You deserved it 7 342

hopejm 5

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:36

just get a plan b pill. I think you have 48 hrs to use it. $50.00 is a lot cheaper than a kid. there's a cheaper brand also. good luck!

lukey101 23

Wednesday 15 September 2021 12:14

After 2 kids in 2 years I can see why you're using condoms....

Comments

lukey101 23

Wednesday 15 September 2021 12:14

After 2 kids in 2 years I can see why you're using condoms....

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:22

I have a feeling this wasn't the first birth-control ****-up you guys have had. At least two of them are sleeping in the next room.

hopejm 5

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:36

just get a plan b pill. I think you have 48 hrs to use it. $50.00 is a lot cheaper than a kid. there's a cheaper brand also. good luck!

Ellimac21 14

Wednesday 15 September 2021 19:53

Plan B pill to avoid an unwanted kid As for the condom in the ******, it may come out on it's own in 3 days. If you start feeling sick, go to the gynecologist so they can remove it.