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Academia ain't for everyone

By Spoopy Flame III - 18/11/2020 17:02

Today, after dropping a class for the first time ever in college in order to focus on raising my grades, I failed the test that I dropped another course to study for. By not finishing on time. After 3 days of studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 356

Brain bleach

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 00:00

Today, it's been three weeks since our 12 year-old son walked in on us having sex. Ever since then he’s treating his mom like she was the victim of some horrible crime and treats me like I should be in prison. He refuses to stop, even though we’ve both spoken to him about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 324

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 13:00

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 267

Don't touch me, bitch

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 226

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 791

There is a better way...

By Lewis - 25/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris

Even if you cut a few branches...

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

The more the merrier

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 17:02 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I apparently I created a group chat with the four guys I saw any potential with, ruining every single one of the possible future relationships all at once because they now know about each other. I give up on dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 920

Non confrontational

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 03:00

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 063

Heavy duty

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 22:00

Today, I bled through a tampon and pad in half an hour. When changing them, I somehow managed to streak blood across the bathroom floor, like a small creature was murdered and dragged. I have never menstruated this hard before in my life. Anyone know how to get blood out of white grout? Not asking for a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 127

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 189

Bad omen

By burning up - 08/05/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I think it's a bad sign when you have a fan going and several windows open in a room, yet you are still hot enough to be sweating even when you take off some of your clothes. Of course, I could be wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 163

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 001

You deserved it 663

Help needed

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 11:59

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 240

Oddly specific

By mr. e - 18/05/2023 22:00

Today, I discovered that at the age of 24, I would actually rather break a toe than eat a food I don’t like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 686

Leave me out of it

By Marissa Di Stefano - 05/01/2021 17:01

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 212

So, here's the thing…

By MIG2204 - 15/04/2019 20:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my school told us that we all need to be checked and treated for threadworms. So now I need to go tell my girlfriend that she needs to be checked and treated for threadworms. We have been dating for little over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 207

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 626

Second class citizen

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that he won’t let me meet his family. He sarcastically replied, “What, you mean my wife and kids? You’re a mistress, remember? You don’t get to meet my family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 1 477

USA! USA! USA!

By Your turkey stinks anyway - 27/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was uninvited to our usual family Thanksgiving, as well as the rest of the holidays with my extended family. Why? They found out who I voted for. I won't say who, but according to my aunt, I'm to blame for putting their son's healthcare at risk. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 248

What's the deal with handbags?

By Clumsy - 18/03/2022 02:00

Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 22:00

Today, I found a necklace that my parents had made for me. While looking at it, I realized my parents had spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 154

Should be interesting at the office tomorrow…

By confused_lemon - 04/06/2019 00:00

Today, I got thrown out by a guy I really like, with the words, "Can you leave me the fuck alone, please?" I took my stuff and left as quickly as I could, just to fall down the stairs on his doorway, and twist my ankle really bad. He's someone from work as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 682

Regret…

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 20:01

Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 915

By mmckie - 11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 451

Same

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 184

By ApparentWeirdo - 06/06/2017 14:00

Today, my boyfriend called me weird because I keep gloves in the glove box in my car. He's never seen that before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 382

The step after egg mode

By I’m a boy - 09/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was told that because I have an anime profile picture, I’m obviously extremely ugly in real life. I’m not ugly, I’m trans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 937

People don't always get sarcasm

By Martin - 15/03/2021 17:00

Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 1 204

Workout

By Demitrius_T - 19/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after noticing weight gain, I purchased an ab belt. Despite no gym for around a year now, I assumed I could easily sustain an advanced level workout and put the belt on maximum strength. The first shock catapulted me off my feet and smacked my head into the wall, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 359

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 135

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The Top

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 4 814

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 563

You deserved it 2 758

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 291

You deserved it 32 476

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 165

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 249

Today, I accidentally deleted my YouTube account because I was trying to eliminate distractions from school. My dumb self eventually realized all I had to do was stop uploading, and return to it during my vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 054