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    : 320



    Not worth it

    Anonymous - 17/12/2021 20:01

    Today, I drove 4 hours to see a girl I’ve been messaging with for months. Her friends came along for everything. I opted to sleep in my car, and go fishing alone. I didn’t know the river was near a nuclear power plant, so I’m probably sterile now. FML
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    What a headache

    heckinfrick - 08/10/2020 08:01

    Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML
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    Grindset mindset

    Anonymous - 11/03/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - London

    Today, and over the last week, I’ve spent about 10 minutes with my wife over 5 separate occasions because she is married more to her job than to me. And if anyone is interested those 5 occasions were unromantic sex because we’re trying to get pregnant, then straight back to her laptop to work more. FML
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    risingtide - 20/11/2018 15:30

    Today, I reached my exam center late after taking the wrong metro twice, only to find out that I forgot my calculator at home. FML
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    Control

    Anonymous - 13/08/2024 16:00 - United States - New Smyrna Beach

    Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
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    No chuds, thanks

    Anonymous - 15/10/2020 20:01

    Today, I found the Instagram account belonging to the guy I've been seeing. That's how I found out he's one of those nitwit asshole Proud Boys. FML
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    Lonely times

    Anonymous - 21/08/2024 15:00 - United States - Port Orchard

    Today, I realized why my depression is so bad. No matter how hard I try, I have always been a replaceable presence in everyone's lives, and I have never felt like anyone couldn't live without me. Not even family. FML
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    Barely legal

    nikki - 04/01/2022 14:01 - United States - Federal Way

    Today, my biology teacher subscribed to my OnlyFans. This wouldn’t be weird if the last time I saw or spoke to him wasn't my freshman year of high school. FML
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    WellThen - 15/12/2018 06:30 - United States

    Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
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    Sorry guys

    Lunar-Spice - 02/02/2022 01:59 - United States - Midlothian

    Today, I tested positive for Covid. Not only do I feel absolutely miserable, but I was at work all day yesterday, interacting with the public. Also, the day before that, I hung out at a friend's house with a 3-month-old infant. If any one of them get Covid, it's my fault. FML
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    Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

    Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
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    Foxtrot Mike Lima

    Anonymous - 21/04/2023 18:00

    Today, I went for an eye exam. The doctor asked me to read the chart on the wall and without even thinking about it, I started to call out the letters using the NATO phonetic alphabet. Nope, my time in the military has had absolutely no effect on me. FML
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    AloneForChristmas - 25/12/2018 16:00

    Today, I live in dorms and found out everyone is leaving for Christmas break. I also found out my student loan didn't go through, so now I cant afford to go visit my family that lives over 7 hours away. I guess I'll be spending Christmas alone in a dorm room. FML
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    Cold turkey

    Wishliar - 30/09/2024 09:00 - United States

    Today, I started my cure from my opioid addiction. My whole body is so sore, I'm lying in bed and I'm still hurting to the point that I cried half the day, and nothing will make me feel any better. FML
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    Uneducated - 26/01/2019 20:00

    Today, my dad informed me that I’d not be progressing into next year’s class because it’s a waste of money. But it’s fine because my twin will be learning for the both of us. FML
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    Best of both worlds

    Alyce - 05/12/2020 23:02 - United States - Lewistown

    Today, I was finally diagnosed with insomnia. The trouble is, because of my physical disability, I also have diagnosed chronic fatigue. Barely can stay awake during the day, can't sleep at night. FML
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    Big Brother

    Anonymous - 11/02/2022 16:00

    Today, and lately, my dad has an annoying habit of knowing where I’ve been, even though I never go anywhere worth mentioning. On a hunch, I checked my phone and it turns out he’s been tracking my location. I’ve literally done nothing to deserve this lack of trust, and now I think I hate him. FML
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    Parasocial relationship

    Having some mental health issues - 17/02/2022 02:00

    Today, I’m so lonely and sick of living that I wish my fictional comfort character was real, only so someone would hug me and tell me I’ll be okay, even if they were lying. FML
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    Repetition

    DefinitelyNotMyMeds - 22/02/2019 20:00 - Canada

    Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML
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    Three's the magic number

    Letdown - 23/02/2022 12:00

    Today, I asked my wife for a threesome to spice up our sex life. Her exact response to me was, “The only threesome we should be having is between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” I'll take that as a “No.” FML
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    Caught in 4K

    Pxuccy - 20/02/2022 22:00

    Today, I was robbed while working overnight at the gas station. They demanded I give them all the cash in the register. Seeing they were armed, I was reduced to tears and complied. They mocked me and took a video with their cellphone. When I told my boss, he promptly fired me for not “fighting back.” FML
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    The runs

    Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

    Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
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    Too Much Information

    Anonymous - 20/01/2021 11:02

    Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the sheriff's department finally gave me mom's phone back. FML
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    So cute

    Randomm - 12/12/2019 20:00

    Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
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    Dear PornHub…

    Anonymous - 15/04/2022 18:00

    Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
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    Speech patterns

    Anonymous - 07/12/2024 00:00 - United States - San Jose

    Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML
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    Tracking

    Anonymous - 11/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
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    Don't know much about history…

    Anonymous - 19/04/2022 16:00

    Today, my daughter actually asked me who Martin Luther king Jr was. This girl, this African American daughter of mine, with full access to the internet, who has completed a college education, doesn’t know who one of the most important black men in history is. I need to lie down. FML
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    Home invasion

    Anonymous - 07/05/2022 18:01 - Canada

    Today, I’m living out of a suitcase this week, so that my ex-boyfriend, who moved across the country and was going to stay with me for a little while, can quarantine in my house with his girlfriend, who I requested wasn’t in my house in the first place. They didn’t ask, just decided while I wasn’t home that it was okay. FML
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    Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

    Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, it has officially been two and half months since I've had sex. I've done everything imaginable to entice him, but my boyfriend doesn't seem bothered at all. FML
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    Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then told me that yes, he's cheating on me, that he's dumping me, and that I'm fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML
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    Today, I was stage-managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage, shattering my cheekbone. FML
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    Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML
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    Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML
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    Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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