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My regret

By regret - 30/12/2019 01:00 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 519

By bbb - 11/01/2017 07:36

Today, I wasn't able to reply to Facebook chat message immediately, so my friends planned a holiday and bought flights without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 823

You deserved it 883

By Wellgreat - 30/11/2018 03:00

Today, I convinced my roommate, who’s been single for a while, to get back in the dating game. He downloaded Tinder. His first match was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 296

Cute trick, asshole

By newly single teetotaler - 23/10/2020 23:01

Today, the guy I've been seeing decided to "test the theory" that I can't drink alcohol due to a liver condition by mixing some into my drinks. He then complained that my ceaseless vomiting made his bathroom smell bad, and only took me to hospital when I started having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 359

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 00:00

Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 700

You deserved it 491

By It burns down there - 11/12/2018 17:30

Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 240

By fucking_worthless_loser - 08/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Concord

Today, I got into an emotional argument with Cleverbot. I ended up apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 790

You deserved it 2 058

By BurnBabyBurn - 22/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Roberta

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 710

You deserved it 630

By Familyreject - 02/02/2019 19:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I found out that my family has paid for and booked a trip to Dubai without me. They weren't going to tell me until they were about to board but since I was crying that my friend ditched me for my holiday, they thought they would let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 263

If it's brown, let it float around.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 338

You deserved it 366

By Nucléotide - 28/07/2008 09:37 - France

Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and when the mom dies, my eyes tear up. The girls', not so much. They climb on my knees, telling me that it's just a cartoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 10/05/2017 10:00 - United States - Medina

Today, the toilet in the IT department basement broke and flooded the room with a foot of water. In the process, it destroyed a $7000 server and an equally expensive power supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 281

You deserved it 360

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 970

You deserved it 1 144

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 16:00

Today, I've been yawning every few minutes. Which would be fine, except every couple of yawns my jaw dislocates, and I have to put it back in place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 210

You deserved it 350

By AnAngryyGiraffe - 02/11/2016 19:56 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my group is so lazy and unwilling to do work for our debate project that my competition is offering to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 375

You deserved it 869

Shady

By NotFamily - 22/03/2021 19:59

Today, my boyfriend blocked me on Facebook. He said he's restricting it to only close family and cousins. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 112

Parent-sanctioned violence

By Momma - 26/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter informed me that, in order to train the dumb out of her brother, she’s gonna slap him whenever he says or does something dumb. She’s slapped him 8 times already and unfortunately, each slap was justified. My boy is dumb as a box of rocks. Hope the slapping helps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 1 126

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 4 215

By dumpyhair - 16/08/2019 04:04

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he, "just can't keep dating a girl with so many split ends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 252

Get riggity riggity wrecked, son.

By Anonymous - 25/10/2017 05:00 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, after my dad declared that Rick and Morty is a terrible show, I caught him watching it and laughing his ass off. He grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 149

You deserved it 467

By FranticFarAwayDaughter - 16/11/2017 19:00

Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 765

You deserved it 223

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 17:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I'm traditional, this that means I learned the bride's parents pay for wedding, the groom's parents pay for the honeymoon. My in-laws didn't pay for a honeymoon. Fine - they disappointed me, I'll disappoint them with no grandchildren. No honeymoon, no grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 900

By öKANEö - 02/02/2018 08:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, during class, a student began arguing with my Algebra II teacher about whether or not water is wet. The student became so frustrated he threw a stapler across the room. Guess who got hit in the head and is currently bleeding pints in the nurse's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 832

You deserved it 272

Don't worry dad

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 517

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 913

You deserved it 3 816

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 4 238

How is that a reason?

By now sharing the blessing - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, while battling a severe flu, I was forced to come to work by my manager. Upon arrival, I discovered that a colleague he likes who should be covering for me is out today. The reason? Her shoes hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 620

You deserved it 246

By Broke as a joke - 04/05/2019 04:00

Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 983

By Crystal Crackles - 06/12/2018 05:00

Today, I used my rear windsheild wiper and it shattered a large hole in the glass where the rotating part is. No one can repair the window until tomorrow afternoon. It's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 193

By Druggie - 07/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Culver City

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 680

You deserved it 1 498

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 448

You deserved it 29 111

Today, the day after saying that I'd never broken a bone, I snapped my fibula in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 142

Today, my girlfriend went out on a date with someone else. We're in Spain on a trip together, but apparently we're all done and she's seeing this person for the time we are here. I still have 10 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 064

You deserved it 273

Today, after three months of hooking up and talking about dating, the man I was supporting emotionally went back to his ex, who'd reduced the restraining order on him to a no abuse order so they could be together. He left me in his bed to go be with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 602

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 927

You deserved it 54 619

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 729

You deserved it 5 724