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By wrongshoes - 03/09/2016 07:28 - Belgique - Grobbendonk

Today, at daycare, a mother congratulated me for having such a kind and well-behaved little girl. The three daycare workers laughed out loud. One had to sit down. Another wiped away a tear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 168

By Yapanesedidwhat - 16/11/2009 07:00 - Canada

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to close my legs and stop checking out her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 679

You deserved it 3 798

Yapanesedidwhat tells us more.

Yapanesedidwhat 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 10:57

All the employees in our store have to 'shop' with our customers. That includes showing them different styles, starting up fitting rooms for them AND offering our opinions WHEN asked to by customers. She tried on an out fit and she asked her husband AND me (since you know.. I do 'work' in a CLOTHING STORE)..for our opinions. Since her husband didn't say anything.. I looked over to see why he was so quiet. Instead of paying attention to his wife.. he was too busy eyeing me like a creep while licking his lips. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what his d--k head was thinking. And what was I doing "IN" the fitting room.. uh have you never seen people WORKING by the fitting rooms? Ever stop to think she came OUT of the fitting room to show her outfit?....jjeeeeezzz people....

By birthday blues - 08/11/2016 19:15 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only time people have contacted me is to ask who I voted for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 627

You deserved it 916

By hopeless - 07/10/2016 20:28 - United States - Annandale On Hudson

Today, I confessed my feelings to the only man I've ever loved. He asked me for dating advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 387

You deserved it 818

By not eyelid - 20/09/2016 19:53 - Spain - Manresa

Today, at work, I quickly bought plane tickets on an iPad. I should have taken my time doing it, because now, thanks to autocorrect, I have two tickets for a girl with the first name of Eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 103

You deserved it 5 555

Now I ain't saying she a gold digger...

By Anonymous - 26/09/2017 19:34

Today, I was forced to sit silently through my 20-year-old daughter's wedding to a man who is 8 years older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 462

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 143

You deserved it 1 492

By Anonymous - 13/04/2018 15:00

Today, I tried to get the day off because of snow and ice on the roads, which had already caused 2 accidents close to my house. My boss just called me a useless millennial, fired me, and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 1 308

By Anonymous - 21/04/2018 05:00

Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 811

You deserved it 614

By ShandiPandiDerp - 20/05/2016 12:12 - United States

Today, my phone charger caught fire. I was thankful to be there to witness it. I was not thankful for having been holding it while this happened, as my shirt caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 1 136

By Emmaraine189 - 28/04/2016 02:22 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 423

You deserved it 1 324

BIKES!

By Jjay08 - 26/04/2016 21:17 - United States - Miles City

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 696

You deserved it 1 139

After the flood

By russty - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 806

You deserved it 2 413

Freakout

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kankakee

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture; twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 11 787

By darkdollyone - 19/05/2010 01:36 - Spain

Today, I saw a very pretty girl at the nightclub. She looked at me so I took a sexy pose while drinking, trying to look cool. I put the straw in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 396

By Oops_Im_Blushing - 13/11/2016 06:14

Today, my date kept offering to drop me off back home because he thought I wasn't enjoying myself at the dance. I wasn't enjoying myself at the dance because he kept asking if I wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 868

Oops_Im_Blushing tells us more.

Oops_Im_Blushing 12

Monday 14 November 2016 17:43

Hi guys, I'm the OP here! And I just want to clarify somethings. I in fact told him that I was enjoying myself and that he didn't need to keep asking. And I don't think it was that he didn't want to spend time with me as he texted me later seeing if we could see eachother the next day. So I still have no idea lol.

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 099

You deserved it 2 714

By GlennGuagmire - 23/10/2016 06:23 - Saudi Arabia - Ras Tanura

Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 066

You deserved it 1 636

By taroschain - 30/07/2016 21:19 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I realized I got more birthday wishes from people checking my ID for alcohol purchases than from friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 848

You deserved it 1 247

taroschain tells us more.

taroschain 11

Monday 8 August 2016 1:01

Huh, didn't think this would make it. Neat. Thanks for the birthday wishes! To clear a few things up: 1. I started getting birthday wishes from ID checkers a week before my birthday and for a few days after, during which time I went on a couple beer runs for my roommate, bought a bottle of wine for a family dinner, had a weekly girls' night out with some coworkers and, yes, went barhopping with a friend on the day of. 2. I only got Facebook because my college required it and didn't bother filling in the information other than schooling. 3. I'm not one of those people who reminds everyone about their birthday five times a day for two weeks, and I track friends' birthdays on my iPod calendar. Also, I'm a bit of a workaholic and tend to forget events if they don't affect my work schedule (thus the calendar) and didn't actually realize my birthday was coming up until it was mentioned on one of said aforementioned beer runs. 4. Partly due to a lack of FB and other social networking, most of my friends are either from work or people I was really close to in high school and chose to keep in contact with via phone or e-mail (I'm an old person in a 25-year old body. I knit too!). Also guildmates, but I don't think that counts. Hope this helps!