The Top

<p>OP here (I didn't hook my email when I orginally submitted)</p> <p>To clarify, my aunt and uncle were married with kids before they became step-sister and brother. My grandmother died (my uncle's mother), and coincidentially my aunt's mother had been widowed for some time. My grandfather (my uncle's father) married my aunt's mother. I just still think it is hella weird, but we just joke about it when we meet around for the holidays.</p>

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 051

You deserved it 6 015

By TmWhisp - 13/05/2016 10:02 - United States

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 55

By Callum536 - 22/08/2016 09:51 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 039

You deserved it 886

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 18:29 - United States - Newark

Today, I was notified that I'm being discharged after two weeks because my employers don't have the time to train me at my first real job in six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 131

You deserved it 1 968

By Pissed - 20/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Asheville

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 405

You deserved it 2 995

Oh no

By Dannylover - 17/02/2009 20:53 - Netherlands

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me, "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?" I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, to which he responded, "No, probably not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 387

You deserved it 13 086

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 456

You deserved it 985

Creepypasta

By exiebestie - 26/04/2016 01:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 432

You deserved it 1 467

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 8 411

By dirk855 - 18/01/2009 10:29 - United States

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 2 366

By Jibber96 - 14/11/2015 13:31 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was walking with a friend to tell him how excited I was for college and even motivating him to apply for the same school, until I found out later that I got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 162

You deserved it 2 479

By touche-à-tout - 15/08/2012 08:08 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I started pulling on all the available levers. Can some one explain to me why the main alarm lever was in the toilet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 01/05/2016 15:00 - France

Today, even though I’m very careful, my modeling agency said that I’d put on weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 240

You deserved it 3 388

By unemployedliar - 23/05/2017 10:09 - United States - Aurora

Today, I applied for a job and got called in for an interview. I lied on my resume stating that I speak Japanese fluently. Turns out, my potential employer is half-Japanese and wants to conduct the interview entirely in Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 13 931

jmk10 tells us more.

jmk10 1

Monday 22 May 2017 20:57

Op here, wow I didn't know this would actually get published. Yeah I know I shouldn't have lied but I should probably mention that I do know some Japanese (more conversational than fluent, probably enough to be able to assist a customer). I figured it would be okay. Lesson learned. As you can probably figure out, I didn't get the job though.

By PositiveElectron - 27/08/2015 19:52 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 707

You deserved it 1 525

By ItsGoneForever - 25/06/2016 00:48 - Netherlands - Driehuis

Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 2 606

ItsGoneForever tells us more.

ItsGoneForever 16

Saturday 25 June 2016 18:48

Hello, I am OP. Just a bit of clarification :-) Things were really heated and my gf was just really aroused as we hadn't seen each other for a while, so she was really into it. However, when she was cooled down again she apologized and we had a good laugh about it. And of course had another go later that evening ;-)

By caryl101698 - 09/06/2016 01:40 - United States - Medford

Today, after spending $850 on having our siding, roof and windows powerwashed, a 5-minute storm blew the siding clear off the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 671

You deserved it 1 107